Ally Rob

like Shakespeare, but sexy

[Ally Rob @allyfatstacks]

Last night, my friend was so inebriated that he needed my dad and I to help him into the apartment (which we just moved into that afternoon), and the cops showed up at 1:00am to respond to a complaint that “the new neighbors were dragging a dead body into their garage” 🙃

[☔ @Whotfismick]

y'all ever be laying in bed and just start doing this

[trash jones @jzux]

jury duty is so unserious. like uh oh it's time for my government-mandated gossiping!

[Crocodile Cam⚡️🇨🇻 @CrocodileCam]

This is how girls feel when you ask them if they wanna run errands with you

[AbsolutelyCillianIt💎💎 @Peaky_Duchess]

#CillianMurphy's range is So insane🔥

[thomas 🍌 @perfectsweeties]

meeting the person who is training you at a new job is exactly like when a baby duck imprints on its mother. following them around clueless as shit. someone else will be like hey can you send this email and it’s like no i’m not sure i can. i’ve never done that without jeremy

[Ally Rob @allyfatstacks]

There's an ache in you put there by the ache in me
But if it's all the same to you
It's the same to me

[Ally Rob @allyfatstacks]

Because some of us were called a chipmunk and a horse bc of our mouths okkkaaaayyyy?

[⭐️IT GIRL⭐️ @aliyahInterlude]

why is everyone obsessed with having perfect teeth ?? having imperfect teeth is so cute & adds character

[alice white 🍋🥚 @AliceOnCam]

Call me to help you move. Call me when you are sick, I will send you soup. Text me when you want to body double. Ping me when you need a pick me up. Call me to pick your kid up from school. Text me to feed your pet. I want to be my friends’ community.

[PYPER🍒 @pyperxox]

“why do you take so long in the shower?”

me:

[Ally Rob @allyfatstacks]

Just called my dad and made him listen to my 30min TEDtalk about why I think Amanda Knox was innocent

[Ally Rob @allyfatstacks]

I feel you no matter what
The rubies that I gave up ♦️

[irene anna❤️‍🔥 @enerianna]

i hosted parties??? and starved my body???? like i’d be saved by a perfect kiss???????

[Dan(ny) Lempert @danlempert]

I think smartphones are ruining our lives but also if I had to go to the airport in 1998 with just my wits & a subway map I’d kill myself

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

bro idc if im 25 if i fall asleep in your car it’s your responsibility to carry me to bed and give me a kiss goodnight

[Ally Rob @allyfatstacks]

Mom and dad

[Ally Rob @allyfatstacks]

Always remember
Uh-huh, tears on the letter
I vowed not to cry anymore
If we survived the Great War