Jon, Almost

Go placidly amid the tweets and haste...

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

Unfortunate use of hyphenation, @BBCNews @BBCBreaking 👀

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

@LidlGB Thanks for the gingerbread store! Kept the kids busy in more ways than one 😄

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

Thanks @LidlGB and congratulations on your 1000th store! Unfortunately this one is about to get demolished by the kids 😆

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

@Dominos_UK @dominoes Yes please. Bupa estimates around 1 in 10 adults in the UK are lactose intolerant. That's a huge number of people (like my partner!) who might want swap to dairy-free cheese on a meat pizza. Surely it's worth creating a separate 'dairy-free' option for them? 🤔

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

Hey @Dominos_UK, why won't your online system let my partner order vegan cheese with meat toppings? 🤔 She's lactose intolerant but still wants pepperoni! Please sort it out so she can actually eat the pizza she wants. #lactoseintolerance

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

@Dominos_UK Thanks for the info, @Dominoes. My partner is lactose intolerant, not vegan. She just wants to swap to vegan cheese on a regular pepperoni pizza! 🍕
Can you please create a 'dairy-free' option that's separate from the 'vegan' one? She just wants a pizza she can eat!

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

Hi @UrbanOutfitters, we have a very sad 15-year-old here this afternoon. She was so excited to make her first purchase at the newly opened store, but has just lost her bag on the way home from @traffordcentre. It would be amazing if you could share this to help us find it. 🙏

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

Hey @OctopusEnergy! My kids and I were excited for your Warrington Spin to Win, but as loyal customers, we were turned away. Left us feeling a bit at sea! Please don't leave your existing school of fish high and dry. 🐙

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

@KPSnacks @McCoys's crisps, a siren's call, I tore the top, expecting all!
But five lone crisps stared back at me,
A windy bag, a tragedy! #crisps #disappointment #snackfail

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

@StarbucksUK Asked for Caramel Macchiato... 🤢 #toolatetotakeback

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

@JasonManford One for consideration please https://t.co/HEMTIVct0y #charityninjas

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

Use my referral link to buy BONELAB and you can get 25% off your purchase https://t.co/FFcILp7W60

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

Use my referral link to buy Meta Quest 2, and we'll both get a £23 Store credit to use on apps and games: https://t.co/sNykYFyc9s #MetaQuest2

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

@asda R U OK, HUN?

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

Dear @elonmusk, explosive setbacks aside @MarsUK is on the cards! (Sentimental value: 5/10). I would be willing to trade for a @Tesla. Just drop me a DM to organise the swap.

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

Dear @elonmusk, distant cosmos are alright but how about some yet-to-be-trademarked James Webb slime (Sentimental value: 8/10). I would be willing to trade for a @Tesla. Just drop me a DM to organise the swap.

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

@AirtimeRewards

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

Dear @elonmusk, busy day at the beach but managed to pick you up a lil' something (Sentimental value: 3/10). I would be willing to trade for a @Tesla. Just drop me a DM to organise the swap.

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

@WarringtonBC My daughter asked if she could get a litter picker for Christmas so she can clean up Warrington's streets when we go dog walking, so Santa came early. Now my black bin is full of other people's rubbish! This girl deserves an award and I could do with a second bin 🤣

[Jon, Almost @almostjon]

Dear @elonmusk, tried to unblock drain pipes and ended up breaking the bath. Got some spare parts after my remorseful trip to @BandQ (Sentimental value: 1/10). I would be willing to trade for a @Tesla. Just drop me a DM to organise the swap.