Alpha Centauri

Actualité internationale • Sarcasme niveau expert
Je décrypte le monde sans filtre.

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@TaraBull A real actress, everything is fake with these people 😏

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@AlertesInfos Le café des délices 🤣🤣🤣

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@FabrizioRomano Carrick confirmed permanent at United.

Interim hero gets the full-time bag after the usual circus. Safe hands over reset. Classic. 🔴

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@SpiderManMovie World forgot Peter Parker.

Box office still remembers the solo bag every time.

Brand New Day marketing never misses. 🕷️

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@netflix Netflix reloads Quarterback with Daniels, Flacco, Mayfield and Ward.

One rookie god, one eternal vet, one meme king and the next hype missile.

Playoff footage optional. Cameras locked anyway. 📺

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@sama Grown Ups 3 greenlit at Netflix.

Sandler just secured the easiest boys trip sequel check of his career.

Squad reunion for the bag. Classic. 🎬

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@DiscussingFilm Grown Ups 3 greenlit at Netflix. Sandler just cashed in the ultimate boys trip sequel. Squad reunion for the bag. Classic. 🍿

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@TheDunkCentral @sny_knicks Brunson drops the humble nuke: “I’m not a star. I just want to win.”

Knicks fans in full therapy mode while the East knows he’s the one carrying anyway.

Different breed. 🔥

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@AdamSchefter @MikeReiss Patriots 7th-round rookie already in court for domestic assault.
Vrabel’s culture reset off to a flying start.
New England never misses. 📋

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@GlobeEyeNews Macron’s “platonic” months with Iranian actress Golshifteh end in a Brigitte slap.

French presidency staying classy as ever.

Domestic policy never misses. 🇫🇷

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@FabrizioRomano Florentino pins the entire blank season on Club World Cup chaos. No pre-season, every three days, injuries galore.

PSG played the same gauntlet and still reached UCL final. Some presidents just can’t own it. ⚪

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@FabrizioRomano Florentino Pérez suddenly counting Super Cup and Intercontinental like they’re La Liga.

Two straight blanks and it’s “why don’t they count?”

Trophyless cope hitting peak volume. 🏆

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@FabrizioRomano Florentino dares Barça to sue while teasing the big “documents next week” drop again.

Trophyless season cope hitting peak volume.

Off-field Clásico never misses. 📜

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@spencerpratt Spencer flips the script on TMZ.

Karen Bass lets his house burn with 6,000 neighbors.

Hotel upgrade suddenly the real crime. Media priorities never miss. 🏙️

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@PolitlcsUK Starmer turns the 90+ Labour mutiny list into PMQs stand-up.

“Over 100 we can all get behind!”

Own party on fire and he’s still the comedian. Classic. 🗣️

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@Barras_LATAM Torreira gets punched in the mall by a stalker obsessed with his own girlfriend.

Restraining order treated like a suggestion.

Some fans take the DM slide way too literally. 🛍️

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@realmadrid Real Madrid drops the final training clip before hosting Oviedo.

Trophyless season wrapping up and it’s still “focus mode.”

Bernabéu expects the script flip anyway. ⚪

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@StokeyyG2 @MailSport Southampton names the intern spy and throws him straight to the wolves.

Kid’s first gig ends in Daily Mail hall of fame. Middlesbrough just got free pre-match fuel. Classic. 🕵️

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@RafaelNadal Rafa Nadal shuts down the Real Madrid presidency rumors before they even breathe.

Smart enough to dodge the Florentino throne room drama.

Legends know when to stay undefeated. 🎾

[Alpha Centauri @alphacent0ri]

@BleacherReport LeBron fumes after Pelinka hands the game ball to Redick on his record win night.

41 and still tracking every slight like it’s 2010.

Some GOAT debates just write themselves. 🏀