Jill Randall

Bagel enthusiast with love of mix cds, John Goodman, a well made Gimlet, and superlatives. Im straight up bananas.

[Jill Randall @alphajustakid]

I’m not drunk but I AM eating cold baked beans in my bed.

[Jill Randall @alphajustakid]

@Fauxedo Oh no you and my dad agree

[Jill Randall @alphajustakid]

@cta hello I’ve been waiting 50 minutes for the brown line with not a single train going by but no delay notes. Obviously wait times can be long but this seems excessive. Should I take another mode of transportation?

[Jill Randall @alphajustakid]

@AUStinAirport @TSA What’s the point of getting there 2.5 hours early if TSA isn’t even open yet?

[sophia sopaipilla @phiamenina]

“everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it” - my husband 😂

[Jill Randall @alphajustakid]

@AgN0Me We don’t talk about Bruno is not a good or complete song.

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

If Weird Al can get a biopic with Daniel Radcliffe, I demand a “Conan" biopic starring Rupert Grint, and when he says “no,” Emma Watson.

[KingdaKha @Kingdakha92]

I be looking at these kids in Disneyland on a Wednesday morning like….y’all ain’t got school?

[It's Jess Lonett @supernovagurl21]

everyone thinks being bi is a phase but it's really being a teen christian that is the phase.

[WDW News Today @WDWNT]

Runners showing support for everyone’s favorite sign

[Mike Birbiglia @birbigs]

The Saget news is very hard to process. I was never lucky enough to meet him but only heard wonderful things about him personally and thought he was so hilarious and smart. Just devastating. Brought so much joy to people. Will be greatly missed. 🥲💔 #RipBobSaget

[Jill Randall @alphajustakid]

@Fauxedo I made this joke today

[Maggie Lawson @maggielawson]

You guys!! This has been a long time coming and we are so excited to finally announce it… @Omundson and I are hosting a Psych Rewatch Podcast. @psychologistpod Official launch will be November 11th! Subscribe now and don’t miss any of the fun 💚💚💚 https://t.co/MGOpYOOGHB

[Ron Shillman @shillman1]

I've been driving for 40 years and still don’t understand why people back into parking spaces.

[Danyo @Danoisdead]

Using the perfect gif in a conversation should raise your credit score.

[Jill Randall @alphajustakid]

@joezimmerman Played edward 40 hands in Texas!

[Jill Randall @alphajustakid]

@ocnj3 @drmeowza @bachyns Nurses and doctors working in a Covid unit are wearing filtering n95 masks and not cloth masks which. Is different.

[Enrico Casarosa @sketchcrawl]

Eheh

[Jill Randall @alphajustakid]

I’m back baby

[Jill Randall @alphajustakid]

@ZackMoore10p @_normansims @austinenergy this literally makes zero sense....... sure lets blame abusive parents on a school principal who probably didnt make the district wide decision to keep kids remote? which is.... for most still the safest way to learn. get over yourself.

[Jill Randall @alphajustakid]

@beysicc @austinenergy I live in a wealthy area downtown. No power for 3+ hours