soccer mom ⚽️: leaving

if you are from the united states government please send me money

[soccer mom ⚽️: leaving @alphasoccermom]

*sinking into the goo* i actually really like the goo. the goo is great now i can do what i always wanted to do actually

[cris @tombrockhardy]

🚨 British actor Tom Hardy is now the oldest bisexual man ever (47)

[nell @lesIiebens]

the “trump will save tiktok” promise is designed to distract you from shit like this btw

[soccer mom ⚽️: leaving @alphasoccermom]

absolutely violating

[🦴🐾melodyx_o⚢🔫🐕💊 @shonenknives]

Ngl the drive thru jerker guy has rly illuminated 2 me how stupid it is to commit suicide nigga might have saved my life

[soccer mom ⚽️: leaving @alphasoccermom]

sure grok

[soccer mom ⚽️: leaving @alphasoccermom]

do you think he ever just does a fakeout punch on one of these

[soccer mom ⚽️: leaving @alphasoccermom]

curly mouthwashing

[charley ☆ @lovve_buzz]

you know what this looks like

[Rappenem @Rappenem]

Cave bear my beloved

[soccer mom ⚽️: leaving @alphasoccermom]

getting some kind of message here

[soccer mom ⚽️: leaving @alphasoccermom]

*on a first date, chugging my vodka sour so fast i start to hiccup* yeah so i bug test babies for a living

[Donkey Kong @DonkeyKongApe]

they made me too fucking wide for this kart i cant feel my feet

[david lynch @daviidbyrne]

we have david lynch to thank for a lot but this tweet is high up there for me

[soccer mom ⚽️: leaving @alphasoccermom]

count orlok voice: now we arrree boyfriengirlfrend

[🖋 @everisoveralll]

Haven’t stopped thinking about this concept so I drew it 🐻

[soccer mom ⚽️: leaving @alphasoccermom]

david lynch:
-says eraserhead is his most spiritual film
-refuses to elaborate
-lives another 16 years
- dies

[soccer mom ⚽️: leaving @alphasoccermom]

everyone has david lynch stories. i do not but i wish the lesbian well on his travels through the afterlife. i enjoyed mulholland drive

[soccer mom ⚽️: leaving @alphasoccermom]

talking to allison:

[𝓛𝓾𝓱𝓪𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷 @luhaenten]

How it feels to live with your parents in your twenties

[soccer mom ⚽️: leaving @alphasoccermom]

since marvel rivals has come out i see more and more tweets that make it appear as though the op lives inside the mcu and has insane interactions with the avengers on a regular basis

[eskay @EskayOW]

Guys what do we call it when hulk runs out of health and turns into Bruce banner I can’t keep saying hulk no mech and kill baby