Amanda 🦥

I spelled my last name wrong on my drivers license

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

a ladybug just flew into my mouth

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

@stephcastt @Ticketmaster @TicketmasterCS @taylorswift13 @TSwiftLA I’m going then too!

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

@tswifterastour 2 tickets for any of the SoFi stadium shows :)

[LJ👑 @launajones]

Dogs just make everything better

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

But then another one told me he had a crush on me and was going to marry me and one of the other teachers so it kind of evened out #sisterwives

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

One of my kids said “wait someone’s ACTUALLY marrying you, Ms. Amanda???” When I told them I was going to a wedding tomorrow :’)

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

I’m allergic to every type of pollen, tree, and grass to exist… but I’m not allergic to mouse urine so that has to count for something

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

@MonocleCrab Oh but it did, buddy. It did.

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

let’s never forget the time I didn’t want to give up the air hockey table I was playing at so I convinced the person who wanted to take it that I was practicing for the air hockey championship so they would leave me alone

[15/10 Foundation @15outof10]

FOSTER NEEDED!
who in LA has room for Rango, our baby hippopotamus? he needs a home without other dogs while we get to know him better and treat his skin condition

to apply or read his story: https://t.co/O0U7OeAWmA

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

One of the parents in my class basically cleared my classroom wishlist and I’m so overwhelmed by how kind they are 😭

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

@AlissaBryn @Starbucks I’ll never say no to coffee or hanging with you 💛💛

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

do my mom and I both have perfectly good beds? Yes
are we both sleeping on the couch with our dog who had to have teeth pulled today because we’re the biggest suckers ever? Also yes

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

my kids at work before the phone rings: 😇🤫
my kids as soon as someone tries to leave a voicemail and I’m listening: 🔨💥📣😈

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

I haven’t peeled from a sunburn since I was roughly 12 years old and I feel like I’m molting like a snake 🙃 I’m repulsed.

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

I told one of my kids I think she’ll be a lawyer when she grows up and what they do and she goes “no I don’t want to argue for money I just want to HAVE money” and honestly me too, girl.

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

updated: the same kid asked me why I thought “wearing pajamas to school was ok” because I’m not wearing jeans 🙃

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

if you ever need a humility check...just work at a preschool. they’ll roast you on the daily

[Amanda 🦥 @amandalauahi]

@SandraDaughenba Just wait until they notice you have a pimple