Amber Dohrmann

The one and only.

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

Taylor Farms’ CEO eating the lettuce to prove it’s safe

[Amber Dohrmann @ambermthomason]

@BrianEntin I just cannot picture her getting married in a windowless arena. This feels like an obvious decoy.

[Cousin Brad @BradWCAttorney]

My god this is good

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

Bringing a white girl a $9 coffee is a sign of great respect in their culture.

[Today Years Old @todayyearsold]

Dads when anyone touches the thermostat

[Brett L. Tolman @tolmanbrett]

Worth the read.

[Bill Simmons @BillSimmons]

I can’t think of the last time a pro sports league needed a competent commissioner more badly than the WNBA does right now. Maybe the NBA in the early-80s pre-Stern.

[Annie Costabile @AnnieCostabile]

A big emphasis for officials this offseason was not letting things get out of control. Not sure how this goes uncalled and isn’t even reviewed.

Have to imagine this gets sent to the league.

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

I felt like I was the king of the fucking world whenever my mom would get back from the grocery with one of these sweet bastards. Guess I’ll be having ... whatever the hell I want, bitches.

[puter @modelocigarette]

modern remake of the shining that takes place at great wolf lodge

[CJ Fogler 🫡 @cjzero]

Rory McIlroy hitting from the Windows XP default wallpaper

[skooks @skooookum]

If you’re ever feeling small, just bear in mind there’s probably at least one couple out there where your name is a sensitive subject

[🤠 @heavensbvnny]

Remember, it's illegal to use your phone while driving. Instead, use the giant iPad built into the car and flip through 50 settings to use navigation or turn ac on.

[Caitlin Clark @CaitlinClark22]

details 🤭😁

[tom @pricesandvices]

Sad day for people who know the price for scrap metal

[ABC News @ABC]

McDonald’s is bringing back fried apple pies for the first time in more than three decades to honor America’s 250th birthday. https://t.co/htajMCvqpW

[Chris @citehchris]

if I was playing in the nba finals I would make every shot and never turn the ball over. it baffles me why no one else is doing this

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[iloveyourmummyjsyk @g4na_xo]

Accidentally just opened my front camera. We remain grateful for personality

[trash jones @jzux]

i’m actually stealing AI’s job (wasting resources and making up stupid shit)