Kyle

[Kyle @AmbroseSHD]

@NatWest_Help Nearly every damn day this happens now, beyond the joke!

[Kyle @AmbroseSHD]

@simonwalliams @gailkimITSME

[Kim Coates @KimFCoates]

Sorry @3_busan and all my Sweedish peeps .. IM ALL about England .. the 3 Lions .. et all. My papa’s side all hailed from the United Kingdom.. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿. Nice to catch some World Cup before work !!! KC. ⚽️

[Royal Armouries @Royal_Armouries]

Alright, alright, we know this armour may have belonged to the King of France, but this guy's definitely got #threelions on his shirt (by which we mean pauldrons)! https://t.co/JIwmg6ke5z #ENGSWE #itscominghome #ENG #WorldCup

[Katelyn Nacon @katelynnacon]

Let's do this! https://t.co/J2B1lXF6VD

[Kyle @AmbroseSHD]

RIP #VerneTroyer, loved him in the Austin Powers movies as Mini-Me, and will be sadly missed. Provided me with many laughs.

[Kyle @AmbroseSHD]

Can we please get @RamboDonkeyKong casted on #TWD it would be an epic way to kick off season 9.

[Kyle @AmbroseSHD]

Had a great time at the Easter jousting tournament at @Royal_Armouries and can’t wait to visit again when it’s back, lots of memorable photos, autographs and a great day out. @RoyalArmouries

[TeamSickipedia @teamsickipedia]

My grandfather told me that he saw The Titanic, and that from the beginning he warned all the people that the boat would sink, but they ignored him. However, they were warned again on several occasions, until they kicked him out the cinema.

[TeamSickipedia @teamsickipedia]

"I take it you're from America madam."

"You condescending arse, just because I'm a little overweight you assume I'm American?"

"No madam, this is Tesco and we don't sell guns."

[TeamSickipedia @teamsickipedia]

On my tombstone I want it to say:

'I didn't forward the text message to 15 friends'

[TeamSickipedia @teamsickipedia]

A lollipop lady cleaned the snow off my windscreen this morning.

Although, I think the impact helped her a bit.

[TeamSickipedia @teamsickipedia]

Police are appealing for any information regarding missing teenager, Ruth Tyles...

I'm betting some gypos took her.

[TeamSickipedia @teamsickipedia]

Can you tie a knot?"

"I cannot."

"So you can knot?"

"No, I cannot knot."

"Not knot?"

"Who's there?"

"Fuck off!"

[TeamSickipedia @teamsickipedia]

What makes a girl go "mmmmmmmm"?

Duct tape.

[TeamSickipedia @teamsickipedia]

My mother in law has a massive case of diarrhoea...

She wont find out until she gets home and unpacks her luggage...

[TeamSickipedia @teamsickipedia]

I'll admit that the Chinese kids in my maths class are pretty smart...

But doing it with their eyes closed... that's a bit cocky. #racism #chinese #sickipedia

[TeamSickipedia @teamsickipedia]

I was talking to a fat lass with huge tits last night. "My eyes are up here..."

I said, as she looked down at the kebab in my hand.

[TeamSickipedia @teamsickipedia]

My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I didn't love her back.

It's nice when problems resolve themselves like that.

#other #sickipedia