Wife: I wish my boobs were bigger.
Husband: Here's a hack that you should try that will definitely work.
Wife: Really?
Husband: Yes. Take a handful of toilet paper and wad it up.
Wife: Okay...
Husband: Great. Now rub it between your breasts.
Wife after about 20 seconds: What is this supposed to do? Nothing is happening.
Husband: You just have to keep rubbing it every day for several years and your breasts will definitely grow.
Wife: You want me to rub this between my tits for years to make them bigger?
Husband: It worked for your ass, didn't it?
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Note: Funeral services for the husband will be held this weekend.