The Minor Prophets

philadelphia-based comedy troupe, filmmakers, dads

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

Witnessing a 13-year-old boy go through puberty is like watching a werewolf transform in slow-motion. #monsterbation

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

My son plays Battlefront, my daughter plays Minecraft, my wife plays Candy Crush, and I play dead.

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

It's about time somebody gave these guys their own show. #laughingtokeepfromcoughing

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

This is who Adele's been singing about in all her songs. #helloitsgary

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

All I want for Christmas is my wife to initiate. #bedroommiracle

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

Celebrities are honored every day of their lives; the rest of us have to wait until we're dead. #angrydadtweets

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

Adele needs to start showing some skin. #dirtydadtweets

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

When the hell is this Bob Dylan song going to end? #angrydadtweets

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

Uploading Duran Duran to my wife's iPod. #lamedadtweets

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

Skinny women give me a soft-off. #dirtydadtweets

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

My cat caught me watching the Club Risque infomercial again. #dirtydadtweets

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

The hardest thing about giving up pornography is not my penis. #dirtydadtweets

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

A tampon is just a high-functioning dildo.#dirtydadtweets

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

We made a short film about #cheating with director and producer Derek Frey. Watch it here: http://t.co/49j2sndkFm

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

We'll leave the light off for you. #cheat

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

There is a guide in the affairs of men. #cheating

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

Where the wandering eye comes to rest. #cheat

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

Nostalgic for summer even though it hasn't ended? Watch this: https://t.co/RUoTOMOB4c

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

I don't need your sex, I don't need your drugs, and I don't need your rock-n-roll. Why? Because I saved a turtle today. #lamedadtweets

[The Minor Prophets @aminorprophet]

@FinchandFlower most definitely not.