amanda m. cortese

wife. stay at home mom. owner of the cutest puggle ever. engineer (in a past toddler free life).

[HuffPost Family @HuffPostFamily]

"Just like those innocent teenagers in Parkland, Fla., my brother and his classmates and teachers were killed doing exactly what they were supposed to be doing: going to school." https://t.co/YUslLkuRLu

[Tom Colicchio @tomcolicchio]

Fire it up

[MamaFizzles @MamaFizzles]

At 18 I wrote a note about what I thought my 30s would be like and it's hilarious because it doesn't even mention poop or goldfish crackers.

[MamaFizzles @MamaFizzles]

My husband "had a rough day" at work, but did anyone scream at him for cheese cut into fun shapes while he was on the toilet? I thought not.

[Melissa Joan Hart @MelissaJoanHart]

We #WEARORANGE today for the victims of gun violence! We will be walking with survivors and… https://t.co/KzBHiI3CXS

[Stephanie Ortiz @Six_Pack_Mom]

The same kid who claimed she needs a fidget spinner b/c she "can't focus" just spent 8 minutes picking every sesame seed off her bagel.

[Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4]

The day after Mother's Day is a great reminder that your family still doesn't know how to do common household tasks.

[Jimmy Kimmel @jimmykimmel]

My wife and I welcome a new baby and it is quite a story... https://t.co/VTT0oBsRFK

[HuffPost Family @HuffPostFamily]

Ludacris rapped a "Llama Llama" book and it was epic https://t.co/SR2UaWRkme

[Westport Library @WestportLibrary]

Stop by to see the enchanting self-portraits created by preschoolers. Reception is TODAY, Friday, April 21 from... https://t.co/Qczb89LUId

[CNN @CNN]

Lady Gaga and Prince William open up about mental health in a video chat https://t.co/hPVz1JY25d

[HuffPost Family @HuffPostFamily]

The internet has collective chills over this teen's rendition of "Hallelujah" https://t.co/9OcTOJ75zg

[Matt Oswalt @MattOswaltVA]

I've never watched Trump speak without seeing 2 people behind him who look like they've been banned from an Applebees

[Karen McGrane @karenmcgrane]

All I want in life is for BBC Interview girl and Library of Congress girl to team up and solve mysteries

[HuffPost Family @HuffPostFamily]

Internet mistakes professor’s wife for nanny. Here's what that says about us: https://t.co/MupwXiV6Mz

[Jennifer S. White @yenniwhite]

"You see, when a man loves a woman very, very much, he makes her coffee," I explain to my kids while looking at my husband.

[History Photographed @HistoryInPics]

"I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart." - Anne Frank #HolocaustRemembranceDay

[OutnumberedMother @OutNumbMother]

I've never had Mono, but I do have three kids, and according to WebMD the symptoms are the same.

[shonda rhimes @shondarhimes]

FYI: "ripping baby from womb in 9th month" is called C-section. #VaginaEducation