MamaFizzles

I grew 7 humans so I don't ever have to do anything again.

[MamaFizzles @MamaFizzles]

Sometimes I find a random screw lying around my house and I just assume it's from my life falling apart.

[MamaFizzles @MamaFizzles]

@Honest @Honest #YESHonestCo

Thanks!

[MamaFizzles @MamaFizzles]

I totally got my kids to eat zucchini last night. And now I need to go buy 2 ponies, an inflatable bounce house and tickets to Disney World.

[MamaFizzles @MamaFizzles]

@Honest @Honest #YESHonestCo

Thanks!

[MamaFizzles @MamaFizzles]

May your days be merry and bright, and may all your kids sleep through the night.

[MamaFizzles @MamaFizzles]

@Honest @Honest #YESHonestCo

Thanks!

[MamaFizzles @MamaFizzles]

Take your kids to the store after you're done Christmas shopping so they can make entirely new wish lists of stuff you didn't buy for them.

[MamaFizzles @MamaFizzles]

@3sunzzz @LurkAtHomeMom @WalkingOutside @mommajessiec @chuuew @sarcasticmommy4 @copymama @HenpeckedHal @Divergentmama @Lhlodder Thanks for including me in your video!

[🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 @3sunzzz]

Thank you
@LurkAtHomeMom
@MamaFizzles
@WalkingOutside
@mommajessiec
@chuuew
@sarcasticmommy4
@copymama
@HenpeckedHal
@Divergentmama
@Lhlodder
for sharing your parenting tweets with me. I had so much fun. 🥰

https://t.co/eWFK1Wbklo

[Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom]

Parenting books never teach you how to talk sense into your kid about the really difficult stuff. Like just bc the pants have stripes and the shirt has stripes doesn’t mean they go.

[Sara Says Stop @PetrickSara]

Did my child attempt to cross the Sahara desert, and collapse, unable to make it? Or did they struggle to throw a wrapper in the kitchen trash? It’s impossible to tell.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

you can steal from Sears now no one will even stop you

[Sara Says Stop @PetrickSara]

There is a junk drawer in my kitchen that contains no less than 68 pens. However, I cannot recall ever purchasing any.

[MamaFizzles @MamaFizzles]

Eau de toilette, parenting version: the smell wafting from the tower of peed-in Pull-ups you just found stashed in your kid’s bedroom closet.

[Lauren Mullen @DraggingFeeties]

My favorite time of day is whatever time everyone is being quiet.

[Alex Lasker @StateOf_ALaska]

Ariana Grande with a ponytail:
-fierce
-fashun
-thirty n flirty n thriving

me with a ponytail:
-young colonial boy
-eager to serve
-ready to die for his country if necessary

[Lauren Mullen @DraggingFeeties]

You know that thing where your daughter has been talking for so long that your eyeballs actually start to buzz & then you realize that she's only 3 years old & you're not really sure how you're ever going to make it until she becomes a teenager & stops talking to you altogether?

[SpacedMom @copymama]

I hate when I’m halfway through typing a long word and I know I’ve strayed too far but I just keep typing random letters hoping auto-correct will save me and it’s just like, “comtkivsref? nah, bitch, you’re on your own”

[Lauren Mullen @DraggingFeeties]

The person in front of me in the McDonald's drive thru line just ordered fries with no salt and a water bottle. New year's resolutions are hard, huh?

[Walking Outside in Slippers @WalkingOutside]

Every minute of parenthood is so precious...hold on a second....STOP DRAWING ON THE COUNTER!!!...and should be treasured.

[Robert Knop @FatherWithTwins]

Fun fact:
When my wife is out of town, we get 100% less packages delivered

[Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire]

There, Their and They’re? AMATEUR

Show me you know the difference between Effect and Affect, then we’ll talk.

[Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire]

Yes, I know you're an introvert. You told me 100 times.

[SpacedMom @copymama]

I live in fear of the things I may have agreed to while absent-mindedly saying “uh-huh” to my kids.