Schmidt

Dude, i got some banana bread at work today dude? Hell yeah. My mom told me if I wait for things, like, good things will happen to me dude and I waited for some

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

Walking the dog, next thing you know

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

I’ve never seen the value in pre-workout goods and I never will. All you need are dates and/or smelling salts and you’re good to go.

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

Australians talking shit to Americans today

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

Clouds or AI?

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

When flies get inside a house, that’s basically their Backrooms experience.

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

Leave your house to get candy and go back home in less than 20 minutes.

If this is your side quest in a walkable neighborhood, you’re doing life wrong.

[𝗠𝘂𝗵𝗲𝗲 ♛ @muheediva01]

I’m curious who lives in a walkable neighborhood: If someone offered you $1 million and all you had to do was walk out your door, purchase a pack of M&Ms, and make it back home within twenty minutes, all without the use of a car, how many of you would make the money?

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

@Seanfrank This is a weird way to promote your Fathers Day sale

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

My European brethren! How are you liking North America?

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

Unpopular opinion: breweries have no business charging more than $7 for a beer

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

Wait, fans are NOT drinking the jello shots? So it’s basically just a donation competition?

Which of course, that’s great and all. But…no jello shots?! Whats the point?!

[Davis Newton @DavisNewtonWx]

Unpopular opinion: you should have to drink the shots you buy for them to count on the board.

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

@Charlotte158918 This is the wrong way to consume alcohol

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

@emilyehman It’s interesting, the ghosts

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

Where ya gonna go, right Phil?

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

Me when the slightest inconvenience happens at work.

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

Outdoor drinking is the vibe. Summer 2026

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

This was true 10 years ago. With inflation it’s now 10k

[☔ @Whotfismick]

being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

Boomers when they hear Cupid Shuffle at the wedding

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

@DiscussingFilm

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

@AspersionCaster Fellas, is it gay to stick your tongue out in excitement?

[Schmidt @amoreschmidt]

@brndxix Jets