ampat

weekday impact attorney, weekend bartender, full of contradictions. ✨she/her

[ampat @ampat07]

Quarantine day.....25 (I think?): I’m hosting a chocolate chip cookie competition. I’m the only competitor, so I’m making three different recipes. I am also the only judge, so I will be eating all of the cookies. Glorious.

[Xoxo @chicfryrice]

based on my past dating experience this is EXACTLY how it went…

Him: “i want a traditional feminine wife who takes care of the kids and is a homemaker.”

Me: “oh i love cooking and taking care of kids…what do you think about stay at home moms?”

Him: “i could never be with someone who doesn’t work…too many women are looking for guys to take care of them.”

Me: ❓❓❓

[ampat @ampat07]

Tell me why I desperately want to buy these stupid Gucci loafers that cost $1000. Big law taste on public interest salary wtf

[ampat @ampat07]

@SavannahEWooten Why did that feel so decadent to my 10 year old self? 😭 If you do a re-read of those plz let me know how they hold up lol

[ampat @ampat07]

@SavannahEWooten omg how did I forget about the diary books

[ampat @ampat07]

oh look it’s my Venus in Leo

[Astro Poets @poetastrologers]

Leo season

[ampat @ampat07]

@Marciszewski23 I like this for you and it also makes me concerned

[ampat @ampat07]

This is incredible.

[Wampler™ @ScottWamplerRIP]

After years of only hearing about it, I finally got my hands on the 5-page bodybuilding forum thread wherein a couple dudes get into a heated argument over how many days there are in a week and I am here to tell you that it is infinitely funnier than I even imagined it would be.

[ampat @ampat07]

@SavannahEWooten If you find one for long COVID would love that info!! Also happy to chat if you’re looking for individuals

[ampat @ampat07]

@TheDrummey @offbeatorbit Sorry but this is without a doubt the only good response to this terrible question and I am stealing it

[ampat @ampat07]

(If you haven’t read through all the quote tweets for this you definitely should)

[ampat @ampat07]

On April 6, 2020 I made 72 cookies for myself and then proceeded to eat them

https://t.co/1G46wq0Liu

[BBC News (World) @BBCWorld]

Mental-health crisis from pandemic was minimal, study suggests https://t.co/onndfrA5Tv

[ampat @ampat07]

@MatthewStiegler Hahah I appreciate that! Almost wish I would’ve thrown them under the bus in court. More embarrassed that I didn’t immediately seek employment elsewhere after getting this insanely strong signal that I wasn’t valued

[ampat @ampat07]

@MatthewStiegler This probably isn’t my worst one, but I wore jeans to court once and got called out by the judge in front of many many other attorneys. One of the partners at my firm hadn’t realized she had a hearing that day. She wasn’t dressed appropriately for court so she sent me instead.

[ampat @ampat07]

tell me why I immediately fell in love with this man who built a frog six different houses

[girly&wordly @Brieyonce]

Allow me to introduce you to the most ridiculous yet amazing thing you will see this week.

[ampat @ampat07]

wicked relationship three card spread — I’ve never gotten three majors before, but I really needed this message today

[ampat @ampat07]

big tired

[ampat @ampat07]

@hellolanemoore I have the Crate & Barrel Lounge Deep Sofa and it is both crazy comfy (with the pillows off it functions like a full bed), and gorgeous (I have a deep blue microfiber that I’m not sure they offer anymore)!

[ampat @ampat07]

@CodyCarboneDC @BarredinDC Think queso, beer cheeses, baked brie, etc. No goodbyes has a hot pimento cheese dip that made the cut. I’d even consider a spinach & artichoke dip if it was particularly cheesy.

[ampat @ampat07]

@BarredinDC I know you’ve had a lot of reader requests lately so sorry to pile on but hoping your followers can help — I’m organizing a hot cheese crawl going away party and need recommendations. No other parameters, just trying to find the best hot cheese in the city!

[ampat @ampat07]

Was going to write a funny tweet about my stupid New Year’s resolutions but this is better

[Truls Aandal @truls]

Screenshot to see what 2023 will bring you!