Oscar

outgoing

[BK @BK24s_]

Using my laptop charger for my phone has officially fried my battery

[Edwin Sifuna @edwinsifuna]

Anything

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

I have never seen Gachagua with a diplomat. Give it to Sifuna, the mzungus especially the US Embassy don't engage with jokers.

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Men spend their whole lives trying to make their women happy in relationships. Women are the ones enjoying relationships.

[Ⓝⓖ'ⓞⓡⓞⓡⓘⓔⓣ🐐🇰🇪 @baroswahjr]

If there is a person having a really bad day today is this Mheshimiwa.

His name is Mheshimiwa Sigei. I think he used to be a Provincial Commissioner back then.

This Mheshimiwa when he was given a microphone to address the people of Kericho County, right in front of the President, he said mambo ni WANTAM.

Sasa, he is here apologizing.

He tried doing it in local language.

He is doing it again in Swahili.

[kox.musªa.Inc @koxmusaInc_]

A lady from Jamhuri has opened up a whole new discussion about foreigners in the area. From her Ethiopians and Eritreans have increasingly taken over parts of Jamhuri, with some allegedly offering landlords double the rent to have Kenyan tenants kicked out.

She further claims that some of them have also entered local businesses and are selling products at very low prices, making it difficult for Kenyan traders to compete.

Nakia wamejaa uko na pia pale Pangani ni wengi sana. Tena pale kasaa kun rumours ati kuna estate wacongo pekee ndio wako, landlard hati wakenya.

[George Njoroge @georgenjoroge_]

KENYAN MEN, ACCORDING TO THEIR TRIBES 😂

Kalenjin

One wife. One girlfriend.
But his wife remains the undisputed champion.

Kikuyu
One wife. One girlfriend.
Unfortunately, his heart has allocated the girlfriend more shares.

Maasai
Nine wives. One girlfriend.
But absolutely none of them can compete with his cows.

Somali
Four wives. No girlfriend.
His true soulmate is miraa.

Teso
One wife. One girlfriend.
But somehow the house help has captured the entire government.

Luhya
Two wives. Two girlfriends.
Still studying the wives’ sisters like an unfinished syllabus.

Taita
One wife. Two girlfriends.
But beer is the only relationship he takes seriously.

Luo
Four wives. Four girlfriends.
Yet his neighbour’s wife remains the love of his life.

Kamba
One, two, perhaps three wives. Several girlfriends.
But the barmaid knows his heart, his debts and his drinking schedule.

Kisii/Meru
One wife. Several girlfriends.
Manages the entire department through intimidation and unnecessary disciplinary hearings. 😂

[Baron Cohen Ke🇰🇪 @cohen_baron2]

Pale highschool nishai call mzae akuje visiting day akaniuliza niko shule gani

[Oscar @amulioscar]

@StephenNguthi @John63681549 Huyu si ni ule dj wa Relax lounge.hawa ni watu wanateremshana.

[Eric @amerix]

I am here,

September is here.

Eight months are gone.

What has not worked, correct it.

What you started, finish it.

Only four months remain, therefore, use them well.

Happy New Month.

[Ja Loka @_fels1]

Kenyan sharp boys in Roysambu already found their way into the compensation system for flood victims in Nepal. Every bird has its cry.

[Älëzä 🇰🇪 @Moddy_KE]

Umetulia ma kamattress kako chini alafu unaskia mtu kwa dirisha "na hii si ni vacant"😭😂😂

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Kuna miaka pia ukifika you should also have a standard and grounded dress code. Hii madoido miingi unawachia vijana ya unifasti. Just dress modestly,and smell nice. Sio uko 30 years na bado unavaa long’i imekatwo katwo magoti,na kabag kwa waist kama mama mboga. Surely baba janet

[Oscar @amulioscar]

One wife .8 https://t.co/ksJBVfVpFQ not doing enough with my time.Pole sana Senetari.

[Dr Boni Khalwale, MD, CBS @DrBKhalwale]

My dear wife, Gloria Sekeiyan Khalwale, has this morning suddenly collapsed and died after a heart attack.
She is the mother of
Engine Kukaste Khalwale
Olivia Sabayi Khalwale
Flavia Shimuli Khalwale
Gift Atubukha Khalwale
Meliza Khamwenyi Khalwale
Velma Nasiebanda Khalwale
Sonia Inuni Khalwale
Maura Makatse Khalwale

[Oscar @amulioscar]

Upuuzi

[Lukorito @Lukorito_]

I went to school with Walter Wanjala (I've changed his name here for privacy). So I'm organising an alumni thing and we haven't spoken for over a decade, dude now lives in Australia. He sends his details, I notice his name is now Walter Wanjala-Githinji. So naturally I get curious and ask why the change in name. He tells me that he and his wife (both Kenyans, btw) couldn't decide on who'll take whose last name, so they decided to hyphenate. Githinji is his wife's last name.

[Oscar @amulioscar]

Huwezi pita mdosi

[Ole Teya @TeyaKevin]

😂😂is Masengeli this fast ama junior officers hawataki kupita mdosi.

[Chalbi @Chalbiwsk]

Stop building startups in third world countries. We do not have the disposable income to pay for tech subscriptions monthly. Built traditional businesses like the indians do. there is a reason why indians are the most successful businessmen in east africa, and u never find them building silly apps and websites

[Oscar @amulioscar]

Uzuri sisi followers wa Amerix hatutambui girlfriends day,or any other day.

[Oscar @amulioscar]

Hahaha King that one.

[Njeri Thorne @NjeriBt]

Sifuna once came into the studio when I was at Spice FM. His first comment was ....'hakuna yengs hapa'. He was disappointed that Ndu and I werent attractive to him.