king scobra

welcome to my evil diary

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

Sunshine baby

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

Ah ah aaaah 👆

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

Let me deinfluence you

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

......

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

Can I deinfluence you, quick?

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

Allow me to.... Deinfluence you (;

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

No please, allow me to deinfluence you.

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

Internalizing stress is fun because you think you're good and regulated and then you wonder why you can't sleep, have headaches/tummyaches/bodyaches, and get pissed off at any slight inconvenience

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

Knocking the crumbs off my eggroll like I'm ashing a cigar

[🦉Hootz🐍 🇵🇸 @YngviCom]

*realizing I've gone soft mid ride*

ah shitshitshit I'm so sorry, no no its fine I got it I just need you to lift your hips up for a sec

*grabs my snake charmers flute and proceeds to play a maybe culturally insensitive tune*

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

Wore fake eyelashes and contacts today and everyone was more nice to me than normal.

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

I think my hobby is hobbys, does that make sense?

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

Yeah like if you like girls who look autistic but aren't, I'm hot af

[clay ⛷️ @hanfjob]

im probably hot in a very specific way, almost like a fetish

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

Like I literally look like this

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

I'm the lightest I've been in my adult life and I've never felt worse about myself

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

I'm not beating the piece of shit allegations

[they/them might be giants ☭ @babadookspinoza]

It's easy being a tortured genius; try being a tortured moron like me and then tell me your life's hard.

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

@d_racu1a Imagine how good weed will be after tho

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

Is the music I listened to as a teenager trending, or am I just victim of my own algorithm?

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

Downloaded a visual voicemail and deleted everything without listening

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

I've had voicemails sitting in my inbox since October, unopened and at this point I can never listen to my voicemail ever again

[king scobra @anfutureghost]

@TweetsOfHamster I have no words