hegs

rat with pancake

[Zito @_Zeets]

First time I had a margarita:

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

One thing they don't tell you about the “push a button for a million dollars but someone you don't know dıės” hypothetical is that literally every billionaire is effectively pressing that button as much as they can all the time just because that's how exploitation works

[EMG Max Ketchum @MaxKetchum_]

My mayor is Muslim, my pizza is Italian, I’d kill myself before cheating on Megan Thee Stallion

[jude martin @judecambridge]

Private Eye:

[amanda @jailedamanda]

Actually laughed out loud I fear

[Sam @SamMufc7]

No way 😂

[mena @zcahverse]

Uma coisa que me irrita MUITO no iPhone: se eu to na câmera e clico no flash, é porque eu QUERO usar o flash, não quero que ele analise o nível de luz do ambiente pra ver se precisa ou não de flash.

[v! @Vullety]

this is equivalent to Leonardo da Vinci repainting the Mona Lisa

[soup🍓 @thrluv]

how can i communicate to wild bunnies that i am their ally

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

Why are there like 5 daily chores where if you skip them for 2 days your life becomes a time based psychological thriller after

[moose @mooseincrisis]

i lied.

[Softboy @softboywin]

I don’t understand meal prep. I just don’t believe that chicken is edible on day 5. I don’t

[IJ | mwen pa sòt online @aChildOf2Worlds]

HMRC to anyone salaried getting a bonus this and next month

[ceciatl @ceciATL]

love spending an hour locked in an escape room realizing how truly fucking incompetent me and everybody i came with is. and paying for it

[𝒵𝒾𝓀✯ @_Gottalovezik]

when we're spilling the tea but the teabag, the teapot, & the mug walk in

[ethan 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇭 @adzhanti]

Saw a guy on tiktok make a video saying he misses when Nandos was cheeky, and he's so fucking right

[Ty 🇯🇲✨ @Tyreeck_112]

Thought M&S had a meal deal and ending up paying £8 at the till

[𝖗𝖊𝖉✞ @_redfeels]

Me desperately searching through outlook emails to prove whose fault it was

[Dave Itzkoff @ditzkoff]

Now imagine you're an apple, a pear, a plum, a strawberry, an orange, a cake, an ice cream, a pickle, cheese, salami, a lollipop, a cherry pie, a sausage, a cupcake, a watermelon, or a green leaf.

Not so happy, is it