Anna

these tweets cannot be held against me in the court of law

[Anna @annaschni]

Mens 7in1:
1. Shampoo
2. Conditioner
3. Body wash
4. Car oil
5. Monistat
6. Emergency condoms
7. Jumper cables

[jack @jack_bfr]

Wife: “There’s no way you’re just going to sit there and watch football for the next 10 hours”

Me:

[Anna @annaschni]

@QuarterTon0fFun I hate it here. She did say “this has never happened to a woman ever before so I’m going to submit this to a medical journal for further research” or something like that…..

[Anna @annaschni]

@trulyseltzer please make a blueberry only and a lemon only pack. My bachelorette depends on it!!

[Anna @annaschni]

@trulyseltzer please PLEASE make a blueberry only pack
Bonus points if you also make a lemon only pack
My bachelorette depends on it

[Anna @annaschni]

@TheFFBallers Like a good naber

[Anna @annaschni]

You know you’re having car problems when

[Anna @annaschni]

Do you not cry in your bosses office before 6:30am?

[Anna @annaschni]

Today my 2boss went out and looked at my car with me and helped me learn how to see all the shit that is broken

[Anna @annaschni]

Can you put gift cards for tattoos on a wedding registry?

[Anna @annaschni]

The announcers are really just like “so football is happening; however, Taylor Swift is in the stadium. I remember her 1989 tour, my favorite album. Oh! Look how high she jumped for a touchdown”

[Anna @annaschni]

Today my mom asked me how schools going….

I graduated Dec 2021 and have never expressed interest in grad school

[Anna @annaschni]

Understanding ~60% of football is telling Matt “Did you know (insert player) player has only had 27 defense somethings?! Isn’t that crazy!”

[Anna @annaschni]

IMs boss: how do I tell someone that I should present my work to upper management instead of the dumb fuck who literally tried to use his old company’s template?

[Anna @annaschni]

@QuarterTon0fFun Absolutely we’re getting this dog- just so you know I already have a dog that sleeps on my side of the bed so he’s gotta stay on yours 😘

[Anna @annaschni]

Email: X is quiting and here are their responsibilities that are now falling to you
Me: 🤪✌🏼

[Anna @annaschni]

@MadisonWeiner Turning the bathroom light on worked

[Anna @annaschni]

My favorite thing about working 4x10s is everyone calls Thursday Friday or Thriday

[Anna @annaschni]

Why does the summer make me crave tattoos

[Anna @annaschni]

This tweet didn’t age well

[Anna @annaschni]

So weird that so much of my money hangs in the balance tomorrow and I’m over here tweeting about it and watching tiktoks

[Anna @annaschni]

I feel like the student loans are going to get passed so we ignore the fact they just said “it’s not discrimination if they’re gay”