anne

give me my hat back Jordan, do u want to go see uncle kracker or no

[anne @annemlclark]

A solid alibi

[Vieve @Vanillean]

Y’all, my nephew this morning ran up and says “okay I’m scared, the police are at the door, I also want to say I’ve never been on the roof”.
Gentle reader, the police were there to inform that he had indeed, been on the roof. He then said they were ABSOLUTELY lying. 😂

[jojo @joliGesus_]

I used to be so funny what happened

[Reverend Scott @Reverend_Scott]

people always ask "who's a good boy?" but never "how's my good boy?"

[.lia @zukoslightning]

sǝop ʇᴉ ǝdoɥ ǝɹns I ɥɐǝʎ ɥ∩ https://t.co/qIgxAodeps

[THE Mr.Troche™ @JasianRaisin]

Me: I'm allergic to peanuts does this have any?

iHob: nah fam

Me: *dies*

iHob: however, it DID have beanuts

[✨Omar Najam✨ 🖤🤍💜 @OmarNajam]

Belle: there goes the baker with his tray as always, the same old bread and rolls to sell

Baker: I 👏🏽 AM 👏🏽 A 👏🏽 BAKER 👏🏽 IT’S 👏🏽 LITERALLY 👏🏽 MY 👏🏽 JOB 👏🏽 TO 👏🏽 DO 👏🏽 THIS

[cass @CassidyBona]

Dear graduating seniors, be careful how many missionaries you give your emails to. You cannot unsubscribe and you will regret it.

[anne @annemlclark]

*gets sent to hell*

*annoys the hell out of everyone*

*is the only one left*

[j.Ross @WatchJRoss]

Thats lil dicky https://t.co/OPxTmFn642

[Dee @figgled]

nearly crashing my car as i lurch my whole body out the window screaming 'BIG MOOD' at a dead possum

[a @alessiagrover]

I think my twitters underrated but it’s fine everybody’s missing out on my tweets. ILL JUST APPRECIATE MYSELF

[anne @annemlclark]

@allyschiess Classic Karen

[anne @annemlclark]

Me tryna hop over my responsibilities

[’HIMitar Berbatov @Malonthemoon__]

Abraham: Isaac, we going to the mountain to perform a sacrifice.

Isaac: I don’t see the ram father, what are we sacrificing?

Abraham: https://t.co/1v5uzR8C2o

[childish branzino @absflora]

Kylo: Rule over the galaxy with me, Rey
Rey: umm no thanks
Kylo: oh you thought..? Lol no I just meant as like business partners, I don’t even find you attractive, anyway here’s what I look like shirtless