TinyGiantApe

Just a #cryptodad trying to raise his boys right.

[Premier League Poetry @PremPoetry]

A poem about eating the Fiest Fajita at Chiquitos while sitting near Donny Van De Beek.

#poetry #poem #premierleague #manchesterunited #football #donnyvandebeek

[Premier League Poetry @PremPoetry]

A true story about when I met Nathan Ake when he was trick or treating down my street.
#poem #poetry #premierleague #football #mancity #coventrycity #nathanake #trickortreat

[Premier League Poetry @PremPoetry]

A story about meeting Jarrod Bowen while I was eating a yogurt near some allotments.

#poem #poetry #premierleague #football #westham

[Premier League Poetry @PremPoetry]

The time I met Fabinho at my local dentists office.

#poem #poetry #Liverpool #premierleague #football #fabinho

[Premier League Poetry @PremPoetry]

A poem about the time I met Harvey Barnes at the Willingby Alpaca Farm.

#poem #poetry #premierleague #football #LeicesterCity

[Premier League Poetry @PremPoetry]

This is a poem about meeting João Moutinho at a Gregg's Bakery.

#Poetry #premierleague #football #wolves #Greggs

[Premier League Poetry @PremPoetry]

A poem about the time I met William Saliba.
#williamsaliba #saliba #arsenal #premierleague #football #gunners

[TinyGiantApe @ape_tiny]

A poem about #TheQueue

Don't fear The Queue. Please.

[TinyGiantApe @ape_tiny]

@manuelbolley This isn't entirely true.

The Marquis De Sade complained a lot about suffering and burdens.

And he wrote a lot about orgies.

And he was French Nobility.

[TinyGiantApe @ape_tiny]

@Fred_Delicious Eric Facepaint

[TinyGiantApe @ape_tiny]

@AbrisGains @egoofsigma You should read this book. It taught me a lot about dogs and the value they have to people in authority (the army).

[TinyGiantApe @ape_tiny]

@FlirtingBot Excuse me. Your credit card hasn't been signed on the back.

It's actually part of the terms and conditions you sign your cards.

I'd lend you my pen, but it has mayonnaise on it.

[TinyGiantApe @ape_tiny]

@MasterThySelf9 I've hired this minibus as I can't afford a coach.

Will this do? Do I need a special drivers license to drive a coach?

[TinyGiantApe @ape_tiny]

@WealthFitLife Fully agree. I love to maximise everyone's testosterone.

I feed my pigs a special feed to maximise their testosterone.

I love feeding my pigs.

[TinyGiantApe @ape_tiny]

@TellYourSonThis I
Don't
idOlise
anyoneL

[TinyGiantApe @ape_tiny]

@MasculineRetain Not always. My pastor has shown us many non-Satanic techniques.

He films us so we can show him how we're following his teachings.

I love you Pastor Tony.

[TinyGiantApe @ape_tiny]

@masculinesoul I watched a woman do the most tender rectal examination on one of my many, many, alpacas.

A woman who is soft on their insides makes me soft on the inside.

And hard on the outside.

[TinyGiantApe @ape_tiny]

@polarityperfect Great advice.

Today is the day I take the top bunk bed. I will no longer be a bottom bunk guy.

My wife will no longer be lording over me from on high.

[TinyGiantApe @ape_tiny]

@OneSupermann It's a great show.