archphoenix

I used to do theatre stuff and want to cuddle all the animals. she/her. Former writer at

[Ethan Embry @EmbryEthan]

My favorite part, his belief that he’s important enough to be a target of violence and wears a bullet proof vest under his child sized shirt made of tech fabrics.

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

Elon said he expected to sell 250,000 Cybertrucks per year.
He only sold 56,000 over 4 years.

[George Conway ⚖️🇺🇸 @gtconway3d]

A++

[mark @midsommark]

This will be the sixth time we have destroyed the DC cinematic universe, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.

[Auntie Smarty @AuntSassyAss]

Jake Lang thought he was outing a furry convention, turns out it was actual cats.I hope he donated to the event for shelter cats.

[Joyce Carol Oates @JoyceCarolOates]

when they flaunt what they are, believe them. they want you to.

[Stonk King ((((🌕)))) @StonkKing4]

Elon has so many kids ... other men have to help raise them 🤡

* tweet has been deleted

[Sgt Pepper @MzSgtPepper]

Apparently this segment from SNL’s Weekend Update is upsetting to Elon Musk and his fans.

Be a shame if this went viral.

[Martina Navratilova @Martina]

OMG… ICE IS EVIL

[Chris Hayes @chrislhayes]

It quite literally might be the singlest funniest thing that has ever happened in politics, ever.

[🌊 Negative Tendencies (Neg Ten) 🎸 @NegTendencies]

The word is out about the Election Night Watch Party at the White House on Tuesday.

For weeks, Trump had been assured by Susie Wiles and his staff that all the polls were wrong, and that, once again, the Blue Wave would only be a ripple, if one even showed up at all. And the DOJ was ready to pounce on it if it did.

Trump, after all, was on the ballot. "Vote like I'm on the ballot,' he said, "Because I am."

He told every rally that. He said it on FOX. He had a 90% approval rate, he said. And $5000 checks for everybody. What could possibly go wrong?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

So the East Room was decked out with the finest crystal and china. Staffers thought it would be a fun "cheeky rebuke" to order in platters of finger food from Cheesecake Factory. Just to give a finger to Barack Obama, for his viral joke about Trump’s gaudy renovations to the White House.

EVERYONE showed up in their party clothes. His Staff. His Cabinet. Top GOP politicians. Donors.

But there was no Host or Hostess to greet them. Which was a little odd. The guests mingled among themselves, and waited to be formally welcomed and invited to sample the refreshments.

Where were Trump and Melania?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Trump waited upstairs in his residence, in order to make a grand entrance to a standing ovation with cheers, once the happy results started pouring in.

And was Melania also waiting upstairs, to march in at his side?

Nope.

Melania was not at the White House at all. On election night, the most anticipated night in politics, with the rest of her husband's term on the line, Melania was somewhere else.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Finally at 8:00 the first election results came in. But during that entire first hour, not ONE Republican was named. It was only Democrat after Democrat, starting with Jon Ossoff.

Trump never came downstairs. At all.

Marco Rubio was the first to go missing, according to the Daily Mail. Then, one by one, the rest of the party goers slipped out the door.

Only two hours later, an enormous decision was called. Democrats had flipped the House of Representatives to their control. And in most cases, the Democrats won, not by slim majorities, but by double digits.

It was 10:00, and the East Room was empty. The party goers had gone to a nearby Washington bar to drown their sorrows. The Cheesecake Factory food lay untouched on the East Room tables.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
And Trump? He was upstairs watching the results on FOX News, and posting angrily on Truth Social.
He wasn't alone. No, Melania wasn't with him. But Natalie Harp was.

The Daily Mail reports that Susie Wiles, his Chief of Staff was upstairs as well. The one who had assured him day after day that Republicans would win.

By 11 pm, Trump stopped posting. “He’s watching Fox News barely uttering a word and paralyzed into silence,” a source close to the president told the Daily Mail.

“It’s very, very dark in the residence,” one senior official said of Trump’s mood. “It’s a dark scene.”
Another source said, “They were delusional right until the very end.”
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Commentary by Glee Violette

[Angry Staffer @Angry_Staffer]

LMAO

This is top notch trolling by Massie.

[Lex Luthor @LexLuthor_DCU]

One GIF to describe James Gunn’s run with the DCU 👇

I’ll go first

[Drew McWeeny @DrewMcWeeny]

This POS app unfollowed his account without my say-so. Seems like it happened to a lot of people.

@elonmusk has such little-dick loser energy that he has to try to throttle Mamdani's reach because he knows he can't beat him on simple messaging. L O S E R.

[Neil Stone @DrNeilStone]

My favourite Senator 😂

[S.E. Cupp @secupp]

In case you’re keeping score, Things that died this week:

The Republican majority 
JD Vance’s political future
Election denialism
A Red Texas
Russell Brand’s freedom
Laura Loomer’s podcast
Trump on the ballot
LIV golf
Mike Johnson’s relevance
NY 21’s dignity
Katie Miller’s voting ability 
The “manosphere”
Cyber trucks
Susie Wiles’s NDA 
MAGA influencers’ Iran war support
“Total immunity”
Pete Hegseth’s sobriety
Mid-census redistricting 
Elon’s $500 million
Vivek Ramaswamy’s concession call 
TPUSA
Susan Collins’ “concerns”

But don’t worry…it’s nothing Stephen Miller can’t solve.

[Norman Ornstein @NormOrnstein]

Impeach this disgraceful, grifting, lying monster

[ᖘ @_pinkrantz]

Once you watch the Elon Musk documentary you’ll never believe another word he says or anything he does.

He’s nothing but a conman looking for his next victim. Unfortunately for the last decade or more, us taxpayers and consumers have been the victims.

That ended November 3rd 2026.

[Molly Jong-Fast @MollyJongFast]

Just saying

[Saturday Night Live @nbcsnl]

Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che!