Cortland Armour

Share when you can. Arsenal

[Red Pill Dispenser @redpilldispensr]

Remember when Mexican supermodel Gabriela Rico Jimenez emerged from a glitzy hotel screaming that the elite "ate humans", then mysteriously went missing?

[Cortland Armour @armour_twit]

@AdamCarollaShow

[Cortland Armour @armour_twit]

@AdamCarollaShow @GinaGrad it's happening... https://t.co/N55CN875Fc

[Cortland Armour @armour_twit]

@RealColinDowd Again. Irrelevant

[Cortland Armour @armour_twit]

Was already sure #ElClasicoMiami was not relevant. Mark Anthony confirmed it

[Seton O'Connor @HiMyNameIsSeton]

A quick synopsis of this book: "It was my turn. I lost. It's EVERYONE else's fault. The end." https://t.co/le0K7VBEFk

[Gingers for Limpar @Gingers4Limpar]

@Arsenal @pumafootball Kill it with fire

[Cortland Armour @armour_twit]

@ChasenArmour https://t.co/rKnAEwlyIn

[T.R. Morley @TheRealMorley]

So it turns out Michael Phelps is only racing a simulation of a shark. If he wins, next week he goes up against Mario Kart. #SharkWeek

[Cortland Armour @armour_twit]

@DennisPrager @adamcarolla keep it up. Your message is being heard

[Cortland Armour @armour_twit]

Ducks

[Cortland Armour @armour_twit]

Captain's log - 5 days after baby's birth (BBday + 5):

- I feel as though we significantly underestimated the amount of diapers needed -

[Cortland Armour @armour_twit]

I may be 31 - but it's crazy how good I am at @Jeopardy teen tournament

[Cortland Armour @armour_twit]

@ChasenArmour @mr_dugolas https://t.co/oGnVWgyEhF

[Stars and Stripes FC @StarsStripesFC]

Bradley, Jones puzzled by Klinsmann’s experimental tactics https://t.co/ybOlglktV3

[Cortland Armour @armour_twit]

@KrisPrice https://t.co/QJOGFHrfx3

[The Economist @TheEconomist]

"Someone is learning how to take down the internet" https://t.co/8isEzKT7bc

[Cortland Armour @armour_twit]

George Bush smiling and dancing during the singing at the #DallasMemorial ? I wonder how hard Laura was squeezing his hand to stop

[Cortland Armour @armour_twit]

@KrisPrice @ChristianLusby lol https://t.co/rgbI5AOO2D

[This writing business. Overrated if you ask me. @ScouseView]

End of days

[Gary Lineker @GaryLineker]

Pepe is an enormous dick.

[Cortland Armour @armour_twit]

@KrisPrice @benmaller @ChristianLusby dude https://t.co/8fMOBhdpud

[JD @JD82__]

I'm going to be living in a world where Leicester vs West Ham is going to be the Community Shield aren't I?

[Subscribe to GrantWahl.com @GrantWahl]

If Kansas City converts this penalty, it advances against Portland tonight. Instead it's the Timbers surviving. https://t.co/IuOU54hiwl