Amber Myszka

Mama x 2, wife, word nerd, fit-ish. Oxford comma forever

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

Like ‘Speed’ except we’re on day three of an 1800 mile road trip with an infant and if we drop below 50 mph she’ll wake up and scream.

[Andrea Gibson @andreagibson]

Every feminist
who has ever taken
the high road
will tell you
the high road
gets backed up.

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

@katebellows Congratulations! Would love to connect with you on some student safety topics and initiatives

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

Just had a Monster and a handful of black jellybeans for preworkout because my body’s not so much a temple as a busted up 2001 Windstar that’s been driving around with the check engine light flashing

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

@KevScoggins Seagulls, man. Just seagulls all up in there.

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

@emrichards @USATODAY @CRPE_edu @CThompTweets @aliaemily @CQuintanaDC Congratulations! Looking forward to following your work there

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

@caitlinmoran @PayGapApp Ope

[Caitlin Moran @caitlinmoran]

Today's #IWD2022 amusement - watching companies scramble to delete their fluffy IWD Tweets after @PayGapApp re-tweets them - but with their gender pay-gap stats attached. I deeply salute whoever thought of this. It's deadly genius.

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

@SaraESamora @starsandstripes YES, congrats!

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

@ojpostsstuff Can confirm.

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

Violent flashbacks to Friday night dances at the CYI #SuperBowlLVI

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

My kid told me "only Dad" is his hero, but I solved today's Wordle in two attempts, so.. #beyourownhero

[Michelle Bruton @MichelleBruton]

clearly I’m still not okay because this is making me tear up

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

Dirty Jobs, but it’s just @mikeroweworks cleaning in/around my 3 year old’s car seat

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

I swing pretty violently between *idgaf what you think about me* and *sends out office-wide email apologizing for microwaving asparagus in the break room*

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

Good news guys, only half the items in my cart were sold out by the time I got through the #GymsharkBlackout queue.

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

Fricken @Gymshark 🙃😑 #blackoutsale #blackoutfail

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

You know who’s wandering the trails through the woods of City Park at dusk? Suspected meth heads and me, trying to find a new home for the bunny our dog caught in the yard

[Amber Myszka @armyszka]

I deadlifted 250 pounds today but just pulled something in my back taking my kid out of the tub #thisis27