Ashley DaCosta

Sassy 🇮🇹 blood with a dash of 🇬🇧, proud baby momma of 1 and doggo momma of 2, married to a porkchop. Mostly here to laugh at the silly things in life ✌🏼

[Ashley DaCosta @ash_bals]

Also, my dog is cuter than your baby.

[Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking]

[on my death bed surrounded by family]

me, an introvert: can everyone leave so i can die alone.

[Ashley DaCosta @ash_bals]

I’m so tired today, that my phone doesn’t recognize me. Wtf!??

[Ashley DaCosta @ash_bals]

@SoMuchBloodJoe Baby shampoo/soap, pacifiers, bottles, wash cloths, sleep sacks, burp cloths, teethers, boppy pillow

[That Mom Tho @mom_tho]

if you take your kids out to dinner you have to tell them things like they have to keep their clothes on and stop licking the furniture because quarantine turned them into feral cats

[healthcare ninja possum @krisis86]

“what does your tattoo mean?” it means I’m the most disappointing of the grandchildren next question

[Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness]

My kids will be late to school even if we lived inside the school

[fredesque @FredTaming]

dentist: have you been flossing

me: have you?

dentist: [to assistant] can he do that

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

Your kid went from 5th grade to 6th grade. Settle down with the graduation parties.

[Nayele18 @nayele18maybe]

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

[Ashley DaCosta @ash_bals]

@dadmann_walking Damn, I’m moving in!

[Ashley DaCosta @ash_bals]

It’s too hot to sleep soo wtf!??

[sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy]

Me: I’m going to start packing lunch to save money.

Also me: *eats entire lunch in traffic and orders takeout at noon*

[Annie Way @Anniewritess]

My fridge constantly looks like I'm stockpiling for a massive cheese shortage.

[Mom Jeans @momjeansplease]

I’m gonna need you to give me attention while simultaneously leaving me alone

[Ashley DaCosta @ash_bals]

@sjxox You can either fight it or go with it, I find it easier to just embrace it in all its glory!

[Ashley DaCosta @ash_bals]

@mamabeenix I get car sick every day, have since I was a newborn. Sitting in the middle seat where they can look straight ahead at the road helps and cracking a window for some fresh air also helps, or some air conditioning of don’t want the window down. If it’s really bad, pulling over too.

[Ashley DaCosta @ash_bals]

@sjxox Yes!

[Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy]

“Enjoy it because it goes by so fast” is the “Hey girl, you should smile” of the parenting world.

[Ashley DaCosta @ash_bals]

@sjxox Did someone else use it!??