ashed potatoes

your friendly neighborhood redhead

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

“Do you even know ball?” No. No I don’t. Because I’m almost 40 years old and I have no idea what that even remotely means.

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

the “a little something to take the edge off” trend but it’s my man’s penis between my fingers.

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

barry always says it best.

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

merry christmas, sluts.

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

We lost our way as a nation the moment they removed those jumbo pickles from movie theater concession stands.

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

Just a thicy-thicy-thic girl trying to make it in this heat

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

Actual footage of me and my man when I offer to drive.

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

The true test of a relationship is assembling IKEA furniture together.

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

The ice cream truck is a modern day pied piper.

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

The true test of a relationship is staying in a hotel with a sliding barn door to the bathroom

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

Christmas music is a lot like porn. Sure, you enjoy it. Some more than others, some not at all. But once you’ve climaxed, somebody better shut that shit off.

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

@bradencarryoder @papa_talisa 🤣🤣🤣 shhhh who got this photo of me?

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

Will you PLEASE tell me when I need to shave my mustache? Girl code or something, my god.

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

22 years ago today, Creed gave us a generational halftime show

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

i was probably most likely positively there

[Barry Manilow @barrymanilow]

Thinking back to those live Manilow moments from both near and far? Want exclusive access to decades of concerts from across the world? 🌎

YOU can have a front row experience into the magic of Manilow with MANILOWTV!

Watch this month’s free preview from Dallas, Texas as it celebrates its 19th anniversary this month.

Gain access to the full concert and 18 more episodes a month when you join MANILOWTV: https://t.co/hPEqwWTjXH

(November 20, 2004)

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

Some people really out here thinking they’re the main characters in someone else’s story as well as their own

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

Don’t mess with Texas ⚾️

[Texas Rangers @Rangers]

Coming home to the Metroplex! #WentAndTookIt

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

Merry Christmas, buttwipes 🎄🎄🎄

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

“We’ve got to change our point of view if we want the sky blue.” - ancient Hanson proverb

[ashed potatoes @ashcrack]

Vertically gifted folk: what’s it like to see a concert as it was intended?