Grown-Ash Adult

[Grown-Ash Adult @ashhilton]

So yesterday I told my dad he should let me store a mini cow in his barn and surprisingly, he said sure … Now all I need to know is, where does one find a mini cow?

[Grown-Ash Adult @ashhilton]

Just watched my son dog-ear his book. I’m raising a monster.

[Grown-Ash Adult @ashhilton]

Happy thanksgiving, I’ve had the hiccups for the last hour. That is all.

[Shannon @ShannonJCurtin]

My 8yo had the audacity to ask me why I cross my legs when I sneeze.

You, dude. You are the reason.

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

founder of costco: [drunk as hell] it’s gonna have hot dogs and optometrists

[Grown-Ash Adult @ashhilton]

There is not enough junk food in this house to offset the crappy day I had. At least Crumbl has ice cream delivery?

[Grown-Ash Adult @ashhilton]

Watching the 1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles … will someone please talk me out of getting a perm and creating an April O’Neil cosplay?

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Daniel: Did you have dinner?

Sam: I had a salad

Sam: it was actually a fruit salad.

Sam: well, it’s mostly grapes.

Sam: okay, it’s all grapes.

Sam: fermented grapes.

Sam:

Daniel:

Sam: it’s wine.

Sam: I had wine for dinner.

[Grown-Ash Adult @ashhilton]

@Amy_Hupe Hi I’m Ash, I’m very opinionated for a woman my age.

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

florida high school class president zander moricz was told by his school that they would cut his microphone if he said “gay” in his grad speech, so he replaced gay with “having curly hair.” i am in awe

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Teal'c: Do not worry O'Neill, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Jack: I think you mean cards T.

Teal'c, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not.

[Grown-Ash Adult @ashhilton]

Cleaning my kitchen so my family can surprise me with a clean kitchen tomorrow.

[Grown-Ash Adult @ashhilton]

During my second unsuccessful pregnancy, the baby had been dead for over four weeks and a “natural” miscarriage still hadn’t happened before I opted for what was considered abortion.

[Grown-Ash Adult @ashhilton]

I went through this, twice (6 & 14 weeks pregnant). Both instances sent me into a depressive and suicidal state. I can’t imagine having to wait around for things to happen naturally.

[Grown-Ash Adult @ashhilton]

One plus of chaperoning the third-grade field trip is observing the behavior of all the other kids and being reminded that my son is an absolute angel.

[Grown-Ash Adult @ashhilton]

Tried brown hair and no bangs for awhile. Turns out, that’s not me.

[Grown-Ash Adult @ashhilton]

@brian_malarkey It has to be this. And this group absolutely would prank me.

[Grown-Ash Adult @ashhilton]

On today’s episode of Teaching College Freshmen Makes Me Feel Old:
My class had no idea who Keanu Reeves was.

[Grown-Ash Adult @ashhilton]

If my spider plant had babies, am I a grandma?