Ashley Schaeffer

Dickslappin' is my game!

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

@H0T16 I can feel it in my plums.

[TIME @TIME]

How your cat could make you mentally ill http://t.co/TDgWhJYkHf

[E! News @enews]

Yikes! Joseph Gordon-Levitt's new movie The Walk is literally making people throw up: http://t.co/CM2MugskNC

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

My son Gabriel's birthday is coming up. I've got Mammie making a cake. What should I get him?

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

We got some certified pre-owned Kia Sorentos in stock this weekend. All purchases come with a free Ocelot hair wig. You pick the color.

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

Labor Day sale coming up motherfuckers! Pure late-model German luxury for a god damned steal. Step up to the plate.

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

Egyptian Cobra Special this week at Ashley Schaeffer BMW: Bring in an Egyptian Cobra and get Zero Down on any pre-owned German panty wetter.

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

#dontactlikeyounever sexually harassed an intern

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

@sfuckingj Come down tomorrow and check out the new certified pre-owned inventory of German luxury sedans. 20% off if you mention my balls.

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

@kfuckingp I've got a late model pre-owned german luxury sedan with your name on it.

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

Dickslappin's my game.

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

let's make ashley schaeffer a trending topic! type #ashleyschaeffer in every tweet!!

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

@ZackSmathers WOOO!

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

KISS Rod Stewart Steve Martin Lebron American Idol Mo Williams Queen Adam Lambert!

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

American Idol is all a sham! Head on down to Ashley Schaeffer BMW for the best selection of late model European imports in Shelby county!

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

@kfuckingp You still owe me for all those god damned broken windshields, Powers!

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

@watch84 I've got some late model European beauties that I'd love to show you.

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

@jimmyeatworld i hear you guys are pretty good. i'm looking for some new promotions down at ashley schaeffer bmw. want in?

[Ashley Schaeffer @ashleyschaeffer]

@1Leck yes. indeed I will.