Drunk Asian

Hi im a gurly burly gnarly gurl that likes cats but im going through an identity crisis cause ive only owned dogs. Id go gay for #samsmithissexy

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

Being the son of 2 archangels is very annoying. Like I have to be very politically correct about everything. Plus Michael only have gave a ciggerete for Christmas.

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

I'm a virgin, never kissed a girl, and most embarrassing is I asian

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

When u get catfished and then you find out you have 10 kids

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

@maybemerritt You're really smart!! I like the most about you!

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

@maybemerritt You're so beautiful with no makeup on

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

@maybemerritt You have the prettiest voice in the world

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

@maybemerritt I will follow you into rainbows

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

Mike I need a job pls. I'll clean it toilet. Or should I say lick ur asshole.

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

One time my dad fist bumped me. It was because I did it good. Like real good. Like so good he gave me a fist bump.

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

Dinosaurs more like I'm so poor

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

One time girl was like me so horny. I was like me so not horny. Then she stalked me for years

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

My dad like fix hole in wall. With what ur army of screwdrivers.

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

Peter be like don't do it man. And I'm just like just do it.

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

Gabbi be like when I go to nail shop I'm not ur mom, you know when you were also not my mom. You know

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

Mark be like I'ma send you to jail. For what giving ya girl a twirl round the block in my Ford mobile

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

Mike be like I cried for you. Bitch I need a job a f cock and some spending money

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

Avoid marijuana kids it just makes you wanna get married to some doctor named Dan.

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

You make me not want to do bad stuff. Call that hufflepuffing.

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

Amy more like bambi

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

@maybemerritt Nice abs btw

[Drunk Asian @asian_drunk]

@maybemerritt You have mom knees!!