Aslockton Village

A village in Nottinghamshire

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

We're shocked!

[The Earl of Whatton @whatton]

Looks like our corrupt local MP is corrupt. Who'd of thought it? https://t.co/yanESyhUFy

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

@NottsCC Can you let us know how to keep our loved ones cool please?

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

@whatton @RobertJenrick We're putting a bus on too. Let us know the date and we'll have a convoy. Might need to stop for a wee in a wood on the way though. Our drivers got a cough but he's been for a test drive to Chesterfield to check his eyes.

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

@mstockwood All three of you should be applauded for taking cuts and exposing yourselves.

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

It's lovely to see all the hand painted rainbows in the windows of peoples houses in the village. Our parishioners support for gay pride is heart warming. Not sure about the teddies, but each to their own #rainbows #villagepride #gaypride

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

There will be no Mothers Day Wheelbarrow race today. Do not bring your Mum down to the village hall in a wheelbarrow. We've had to send two back already. Feel free to wheel your Mums around the garden but we will not have any racing today #COVIDIOT

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

Due to stuff we've decided to close the village. I'm sure this might cause some concern but don't worry, we'll open it again one day. Just not sure when yet. The telephone box will remain open for emergency calls only #lockdown #Covid_19

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

The Village Elders have decided that in spite of the toilet paper crisis OAP Bingo and the Unmarried Mothers wine tasting event will still go ahead. There will be no TP in the Ladies WC's but there will be a hairdryer available for blow drying #coronapocolypse #covidー19uk

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

@NSDCouncil Why wasn't he named?

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

@JonathanPieNews The BBC has a huge archive of football and other sporting events they could put on. But they stuff this arsery on our screens. Would the goon who made this decision please stand up?

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

@nottslive Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you @nottslive

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

@RushcliffeCops This sounds great, our village is all for proactiveness as opposed to inactiveness. Get out there and catch the unlawful blaggards chaps and the lovely lady members of the force too, obviously. Keep your hands away from your faces though. Virus and all that eh?

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

@Francis19PH @TrueBingham Super news, thank you.

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

@Jimmeh_P @Nottinghasm Shame that Sparrowhawk ate it :(

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

Gardening answers and songs chosen by a tennis umpire, whats not to like. The village needs to tune into this en masse. #localradio #accidentalpartridge

[ρнιℓιρ cнαρмαη @PhilipChapman]

This Sunday @bbcnottingham from 0900.

Paula @FloralMedia has answers to your gardening questions.

At 1100, 10 songs chosen by Hannah Warren who travels the world as a tennis umpire and is a Health and Wellness coach.

Plus any breaking COVID-19 news.

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

It appears that there is a grammatical error in this Twiter thing. The villages Head of Social Media & Content, Thelma Gonalston has be relieved of her duties. She will still be running the tombola at our fundraising for unmarried mothers event. We apologise wholeheartedly.

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

The Parish Elders have requested, during to the current situation, that any public displays of affection, including hand holding and bottom pinching should cease. Sorry ladies, it's for your own good. #ukcoronavirus #QuarantineAndChill #COVID_19uk

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

Heart warming really...

[The Earl of Whatton @whatton]

What a lovely gesture, it must be hard for them and this will give them a helping hand I'm sure.

[Aslockton&Orston FC @CranmersFC]

It's Match Day!
⚽️ @AwsworthVilla
🏆 @NottsSeniorLge
⏱ 3.00pm
📍 Orston Recreation Ground, NG13 9PL
#AOFC

[Aslockton Village @aslocktonnotts]

@TrueBingham @NottsCC @Francis19PH The land on Saxondale roundabout where the old weighbridge was would be an ideal location for a new tip.