ali smith

i would like to be excluded from this narrative

[ali smith @asmith978]

The background of my photo has a broken wall light in it 😂

[ali smith @asmith978]

Hey @SpiritAirlines fuck you.

[ali smith @asmith978]

#myplmorning #YNWA

[ali smith @asmith978]

@pfpicardi Is this new music ??? IS THIS NEW MUSIC ??!!!!!?!!!!/8-&29/&2!2!/9-!29/!/ansksnwoakqmkKkanakak

[ali smith @asmith978]

Home Alone as a child seemed horrifying but now as a 30 year old in 600sq ft apartment I would do almost anything to be forgotten about and left alone for a few days in a red brick Georgian-colonial home.

[ali smith @asmith978]

What movie scene made you cry when you were little ? And why was it when little foots mom died?

[ali smith @asmith978]

I wonder if she gets annoyed she has to hear all about it but is not invited.

[ali smith @asmith978]

I wonder if my therapist is sick of hearing about my wedding.

[ali smith @asmith978]

@HelloFresh what air tight contract were you forced to make with scallion farmers ?!

[ali smith @asmith978]

I know we’re all going through a lot. But the water at my new job is not to my taste and that is my cross to bare.

[ali smith @asmith978]

Sometimes. Sober me while looking for my uber thinks about drunk me looking for my uber. Andddddd it’s concerned.

[ali smith @asmith978]

When Jeffs concerned I’ll be cold in a skirt in 60 degree weather I think about wearing knee socks and a plaid kilt in 25 degrees at recess for 8 years.

[ali smith @asmith978]

@pfpicardi Freaks and geeks

[ali smith @asmith978]

I just saw someone with “game-changer” in their LinkedIn bio and I know just by that, they are not.

[ali smith @asmith978]

I hate when people keep sending super professional emails after multiple exchanges. Please stop addressing me in each email I know you’re talking to me.

[ali smith @asmith978]

Sometimes I think about the fact that my mom bought me and my sister a Barbie dream cruise ship. It included a built in life size blender on the back deck for tropical drinks. And that made perfect sense in the 90s for a child’s toy.

[ali smith @asmith978]

@pfpicardi I know you’re probably right but i would sell my first born to have lisa rinna tell me to “own it”

[ali smith @asmith978]

Whatever algorithm is sending me Instagram ads for Christmas ornaments wearing masks can fuck right off. Why would you want ANY kind of keep seek for this year.

[ali smith @asmith978]

@BSC_Gym I was once on hold for an hour with the MBTA I will wait. 12 minutes.

[ali smith @asmith978]

@BSC_Gym on hold for five minutes. I’ll play this game all day baby. I’m in quarantine I got NO WHERE ELSE TO BE.