Ash

Dum spiro spero | #SolidOrange.

[Kir. 🧣🍎|🍓❄ @Kirwithdot]

8 original sentences left

[Nikolaj🇺🇦🇵🇸 @nikicaga]

Only 6 new sentences left

[maybe: sasha @goalietaps]

no wonder it was a terrible heatwave last week the doors of hell were open

[✧ 𝓢𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓮 ✧ @lostshine7]

Women are lonely, too. But people don’t care because lonely women don’t murder, they go to grad school or get a rescue dog.

[Darth Putin @DarthPutinKGB]

the gem from @NeilClark66

[TDot Resident @TDotResident]

Mitch McConnell dies of exhaustion after weeks of continuous 20 minute phone calls

[maya @mayaviatwitta]

we’ll jump off that bridge when we get to it

[clintoris @clintoris]

Asking HR if assisted suicide is covered in our monthly wellness stipend

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Connor Storrie has received his first Emmy nomination for his appearance on SNL.

See the full nominees list: https://t.co/w7tjYoNu6a

[Connor Storrie Updates @connorstupdates]

Connor Storrie is officially an Emmy nominee!

[rose @suffergoats]

ilya acting like he is being subjected to insane levels of seduction and it’s literally just shanebug with his thumbs in his pockets

[emo @shanehallonder]

ilya: i could marry svetlana
shane:

[sensitive young hetaira @sensualhoplite]

russian man at my friend’s hostel describe alcohol as a lubricant for the conversational sphincter and then fell down the stairs head first after several negronis

[John Collins @Logically_JC]

"I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky.”

[Gain of Fauci @DschlopesIsBack]

BREAKING: USA comes back from huge deficit to defeat Belgium 5-4 after receiving four surprise mail-in goals at 3:00am

[Mac @GoodPoliticGuy]

Just got off the phone with Mitch McConnell, he told me aahhh shit it’s hot fuck there’s so much fire oh god reagans here too fuckkkk

[Wlwnov @Wlwnov]

Ngl chat this shit is frying me cause why does he have so many different shots from different sources of him trying to boom his shit 💀💀💀

[✰ orxmc 🏒 ✰ (Hollanov’s Version) ✰ @Hollanovised]

Jacob’s going to have to film season 2 on imax cameras to fit these two big bitches in the same frame

[Books Behind Borders @MHTruthUltra]

I remember when I was young they had these people called “investigative journalists” who could find out stuff like if a senator was dead or not

[hippo✯ @hippocrise]

you’ll know what is crazier when my lawyers get in touch with you 👍🏾