🇧🇼🇰🇪 theassisaplus

Physiotherapist.Educator.
Knowledge, passion and a laser pointer.
Botshelo bo monate.

[DP 🇰🇪 @DanChepta]

According to Tanzanian opposition leader Tundu Lissu,

Kenya and Tanzania are "two different worlds."

He points to the billboards as evidence:

While the route from Nairobi to Namanga

Is lined with business advertisements,

The Tanzanian side from Namanga to Arusha

Features only billboards of President Samia Suluhu.

Weuh 🤣🤣

[Moagi Moloi Esq. @MrMyagiEsq]

Ideally, my kids are having a three course English breakfast at school daily. I ensure this happens as I monitor their feeds from their government issued laptops.

I am enjoying my minimum wage peacefully with no mortgage or rental worries in my own house in the picturesque Kgale Hills.

My health isn't compromised, as my free healthcare is taken care of by the NHI. The economy is booming and we own all our resources.

The economy never sleeps and the country is on a 24 hour shift. Unemployment is a myth and social ills are a thing of the past.

This is the dream. This is the social contract you entered into with us @duma_boko. Education, healthcare and housing.

Thola le modimo SC.

[Tumani Modimo @tumanintombi21]

Francistown, I'm taking orders for tomorrow. 🍊🫚

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Kule kanisa ya CITAM wanafanyanga ile tunaita worshipping in style. Masaa ya maombi hakuna kuanguka funny funny kama uko na chawa,infact theres no falling,unasema tu ‘ooh dear gaaadd!’ Ukiwa umesimama As the ushers with expensive suits hand over expensive saviets imported from Morocco to wipe your tears

Masaa ya sadaka,Reverend akisema lets give what we have to the lord,kule nyuma ya tent jamaa inafinya computer, kila mtu anatumiwa prompt message “Do you want to send 30,010kes to citam Nairobi,imput pin “ ,wale hawatumii Mpesa. Wanaletewa hii kitu ya kuingiza kadi. Ndio mnaonanga yearly revenue yao iko karibu kutoshana ya keroche buana.

Shida sasa hawa watu ya citam hawakujangi mazishi,ata kama hujai kosa kanisa,kwa register Sunday zote zinasoma Kang’ethe present,the burden of burrying you is left to your parents and their church people,wale wa kulamba kijiko ilichimba kaburi yako ndio wajue nani alikuua,mwenye alikuua akilamba kijiko anafura tumbo. Hakunanga dying in style. Woi! Citam is the instagram of churches buana. Mimi wacha nibaki huku kwa charles darwin,he only demands we adapt to changes or get wiped out. Angalia jirani yako mwambie One term prezdent!

[Larry Madowo @LarryMadowo]

"You can't fire live bullets and there are kids around!" Kenyan police followed protesters to a residential area in Pipeline with nowhere to escape.

We watched as they used teargas and flash-bangs with people trapped in homes

[Dr. Mercy Korir @DrMercyKorir]

Due to public demand, here is what I have gathered about The Social Health Insurance Fund (SHIF) which is an overhaul of the Health Financing (and provision) ecosystem in Kenya by the KK Administration.

https://t.co/Nu1ctO4NAq

🧵

[Cyprian, Is Nyakundi @C_NyaKundiH]

This was the most iconic video. The coordination is something else.

[Larry Madowo @LarryMadowo]

"Why is Ruto killing us?"

"Why kill someone over glass that can be bought again?"

President Ruto failed to read the room. And his MPs passed the Finance Bill while Kenyans were literally outside Parliament asking them to reject it

[SokoAnalyst @SokoAnalyst]

If you this on your TL, please JUTST RT and share widely. #RutoMustGo

[Cyprian, Is Nyakundi @C_NyaKundiH]

Kenyan protestors invade the Parliament cafeteria and begin feasting.

[Cyprian, Is Nyakundi @C_NyaKundiH]

Happening Now: Police aimlessly firing bullets all over Nairobi CBD.

[Moe @moneyacademyKE]

Breaking: Reports of Internet blackout across Kenya.

[🇧🇼🇰🇪 theassisaplus @assiko_]

Ñhhhhjhhhhyuh7uuyhhhhuhuhhhhuuuu7uu

[Eyisha Zyer @eyishazyer]

Google has launched 10 free courses on AI.

No payment required.

Here are 7 FREE Google courses to master AI in 2023.

[Immigration Services | Kenya @ImmigrationDept]

1. Rapid Result Initiative on delivery of passports, began on Monday 25th September 2023 and will run for 30 days as directed by the Interior and National Administration Cabinet Secretary @KindikiKithure

[🇧🇼🇰🇪 theassisaplus @assiko_]

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

[Jason Sharpe, DPT, PhD @jsharpePT363]

Physical therapists do so much good! But accessing a PT is hard. From telehealth, I've recommended many clients to in-person PT. Always the same issues. Long wait times, insurance issues, or referral requirements. Seems to send a message of "no" before "yes"

[🇧🇼🇰🇪 theassisaplus @assiko_]

Lol

[Gabriel Oguda @gabrieloguda]

Ken Mijungu, on yesterday's interview with President Uhuru Kenyatta, in today's STANDARD:

"At the entrance of the main building there is a model of the SGR train inside a glass casing. Later the former president tells us, "here is my train, you guys claim the Expressway is mine why can't you pay me the Sh700 million for destroying it?"

Bwana, of all the 42 languages spoken in Kenya, Ouru chose violence. Tears in my eyes.

[Gabriel Oguda @gabrieloguda]

Currently happening in Parliament.

SPEAKER WETANGULA: "What's the point of order, Kimani Ichungwah."

KIMANI ICHUNGWA: "Mr. Speaker, I know the Leader of Minority Opiyo Wandayi is a newly crowned lawyer, while I only went to Alliance."

SPEAKER WETANGULA: "Point of correction, Mr Ichungwa, lawyers are not crowned, but you wouldn't know that because you're not one."

The referee runs to the VAR booth, says no foul, and waves play on.

[Raul Bryan @RaulBryanOfc]

I find it disheartening that I continually have to use Zimbabwe and South Africa as geographical references to convey my country of origin. It's perplexing that despite being the second-largest producer of diamonds and boasting the incredible natural wonder of the Okavango Delta, the largest inland delta in the world, our nation remains relatively unknown.

The Big Question is where did we go wrong ?