🍑 thee thicc

// ass flatter than thee earth // the penis mightier then // ♍️ virgo ♍️

[The Dirty Team @partywithdirty]

GIVEAWAY: TWO (2) #SXSW MUSIC BADGES ($1,890 TOTAL VALUE)

How do you win?

1) RT this

2) Follow @partywithdirty

That's it. Winner (one winner gets both badges) announced 12pm Friday 2/23. Go!

[palash pandey @palashp40616755]

@AskLyft My Lyft driver drove off with my pet cat still in the car.

I was taking my cat to a vet appointment, I was sitting behind the driver and had the cat carrier on the floor of the passenger side back seat.

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

Who was the numb-nut that started grilling lettuce? Are you dumb??

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

Being forced to return to work in-person before I’m fully recovered from COVID and still testing positive b/c I already used up all of my sick days and there’s no COVID leave option. Not allowed to work from home b/c it’s “unfair” to others…@amazon do better. I hate it here 😭

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

What idiot spends $120 at happy hour?? Me it’s me. Send funds.

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

There is nothing more deeply rooted than the hairs in between your eyebrows

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

Excuse me WHAT

[Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @RepAOC]

Today, Rep. AOC was arrested along with other members of Congress outside the Supreme Court for protesting in support of abortion rights.

#AbortionRightsAreHumanRights

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

Eating Chef Boyardee against my will

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

People who sit raw dog on public toilets 🤝 me

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

I’m in an Uber

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

Extremely aware of my digestive system working overtime to put away the two beers I chugged before I got in…you better work, bitch

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

Thinking about how I went to the boonies and saw this place

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

Never aim the superglue at your face, kids

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

@hanabanana97 @pqappq I’ll go if you go 👀

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

Thinking about when the radiology nurse asked me today if there was any chance I was pregnant before starting my CT scan and I responded there’s always a chance I’m pregnant but no chance I’m gonna have a baby

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

Cheeky cheeky cheeky clap clap Cha Cha Cha cheeky Cha Cha boom boom cheeky Cha Cha boom boom

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

@whoahannahjo

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

Ran out of kitty litter. Pop Rocks it is

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

Small business idea: crematorium pizzeria combo - scary delicious!

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

@PeterNewson3 I miss dirty jobs Mike rowe

[🍑 thee thicc @asstheethicc]

Mike Rowe kinda sexy ngl