nic ❦

23 mdni// high sw/cw - sw: 230lbs lw: 170lbs cw: 192lbs // 5’9 // bulimic // just yappin don’t mind me

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

@vacant_agent 😔🫂

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

me getting the motivation to clean my room rn bc it occurred to me if i die but i leave my room the way it is that would just b embarrassing

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

dying rlly wouldn’t b so bad ya know

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

everytime i get any sliver of hope that my dad is actually changing n becoming a better person he reminds me that he is and always will be a piece of shit lol

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

i wanna be a fatass and bake today what should i make tho

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

found out hayley kiyoko is a zionist???!!? i just fell to my knees i was excited to watch girls like girls but nvm

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

i feel so bad when i don’t reply to ppl on here sumtimes bc i overthink it n i get so overwhelmed i feel like ima say the wrong thing n sound stupid or say something stupid n get embarrassed but i see ALL the replies ok i’m so sorry my brain jus doesn’t work rn im going thru it

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

can i die can i die can i die

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

like it’s midnight n i literally have to be awake in less than 5hrs LOL

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

does stress prevent u from losing weight too i have been STRESSED tf out lately for the past couple weeks bc of several reasons maybe that’s y i’m not losing anymore. also saw someone on the tl say lack of sleep n tbh idky i didn’t think of that i get like 5-6hrs/night on average

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

@starrvfreak same like the number just WILL NOT go down any lower 💔

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

i wish i didn’t look like this. i’m still stuck at 192lbs/bmi 28.2 🥲 it’s been damn near 3 fucking weeks i jus wanna see the 180s again </3

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

i purged 3 times today i am feeling like SHIT and tmr i will be feeling like SHIT 🥲 also it’s 11:30pm n i have a client at 6am 💔

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

like tbh i think if i asked my ONE irl friend that actually lives nearby me (like 15ish mins) to hangout he would prob say yes but i never ask anyone to hangout bc i feel like im just a bother and inconvenience to everyone bc i dont drive so i need a ride anywhere i wanna go lol

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

i wish i had the balls to ask someone to hangout bc i’m going thru a lot rn and i feel so fucking lonely i just want a distraction from everything but unfortunately i feel embarrassed asking anyone for anything at all ever so i’ll just keep suffering alone ig

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

life rlly sucks lol

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

just bought b/p food like the dumb bitch i am

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

painnnn pain pain

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

idk why i’m surprised my body and chest are aching even more after purging like i didn’t know for a fact this was gonna happen. i did this to myself lmfao

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

my chest has been hurting so much the past few days at random times but i’m just gonna ignore it and act like purging isn’t about to make it so much worse :P

[nic ❦ @astroniccc]

day 4 or 5 no purging but it’s bouta go back to day 1 LMFAAOWJDS i hate myself