here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. some apples are delicious, some taste bad. sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. you know what’s the same every time? doritos
Hey @tomdelonge I see you’re also in DC. I’m stranded here because my flight got cancelled and it would make my year to buy you ALL of your drinks tonight.
Call me crazy, but I don’t think constantly pointing to your junk after a home run in front of 60,000 people and then pointing to the sky to thank God is exactly the kind of recognition God is looking for. #NLCS
Hey @RiversCuomo what would it take to let a Wisconsin boy play drums on a song at the show in Milwaukee tonight? If I screw up, you can slap me in the face as hard as you can in front of God and everyone. #prettyplease
Overheard at the airport: “The divorce papers are coming soon, but there’s nothing stopping me from going upstairs and shooting her in the head.”
Sometimes I wonder how the universe decides who gets to be married and who stays single.
oh wow, just caught a preview of Donald Glover's Lando rap for the Han #SoloMovie. didn't realize we'd be getting new Childish Gambino music so soon!! i hope Disney doesn't take this down!
Hey just letting everyone know I scheduled my dentist appointment to fix my broken tooth at 2:30 on Wednesday. Two-thirty. Tooth-hurty. Thanks guys have a great day!