Father—
Word arrived of a shrewd salesman down Texas way who bet 4.5 million greenbacks on us winning the upcoming battle. His faith makes me determined. Perchance I can drop a few rams off at his farm as a gesture of thanks once we’ve won the Lombardi and the war is over.
—Joe
Father—
We have our orders. We’re to advance on LA to conduct a climactic battle with a flock of Rams led by a man who was once a lion but has learnt he is better as a ram. A pack of tigers vs a flock of rams. I believe this feast will taste even sweeter then Ma Homes’s BBQ.
—Joe
Father—
Deep in enemy territory, our backs against the wall, our defense held firm. I rallied the men for a final assault and we pushed the devils back until a blast from McPherson’s Battery sealed our triumph. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
—Joe
PS-Told you I wouldn’t let you down.
Father—
Tis my last letter before we engage the enemy. Please thank the Queen City for its support. It gives us great strength as we prepare to do our duty. We will not let you down. I will not let you down. We are here to make noise and roar. We are here to #rulethejungle
—Joe
Father—
Our greatest victory in years! Backs against the wall, entire campaign in doubt, I adjusted my sidearm for long range and Chase’d the Chiefs from the field, sending them home with a blast from McPherson’s battery. I’m damn proud of the men. I need to poke more bears.
—Joe