bailey

I’m best at first impressions

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

"Oh for fuck's sake what now" - me when asked to do the job I was hired to do

[Jum @JesterJum]

I wonder if butterflies ever want a tattoo of a fat single mother on their lower back? 🤔

[L 🇨🇦 @Ann_Hedonia1]

When you die there’s probably ads on the way toward the light

[CHA$E @jehovahsflyest]

Dudes will have the worst day of their lives and just keep sending memes to the homies like nothing happened

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

I used to have this mental illness where l thought logical arguments would change someone's mind

[Funny Degenerate @realfunnydegen]

Male baristas don’t deserve tips… go pour some concrete you fuckin pussy

[𝖄𝖆𝖓𝖐𝖊𝖊 @Be_like_yankee]

At a weed store you can say, " I want something to help me sleep that won't make me wonder if my back door is unlocked," and they will take you seriously, think hard about it, and then say something like, "have you tried Ooga Booga Skywalker cake?"

[J @JayTC53]

OMG 🚨 Nancy Mace absolutely destroys Hillary Clinton in her Jeffery Epstein deposition.

Clinton said President Trump exhibits a pattern of abuse... So Mace used her own statements against Hillary. Watch her sit there and take it 😂

[J @JayTC53]

WOW! 🚨 Nancy Mace grilled Bill Clinton on Jeffery Epstein

"Why would Jeffery Epstein say you like them young?"

Clinton "It's just not true, all of it"

@RepNancyMace is on fire in these depositions 🔥

[bailey @AustinBailey18]

The grass will always be greener

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

I work all day, then go home & play work simulator

[Underdog Golf @UnderdogGolf]

Scottie Scheffler’s first round of 2026:

9 birdies
0 bogeys
17-of-18 greens hit*

*Chipped in for birdie on only green he missed

[Fox News @FoxNews]

PRESIDENT TRUMP: "Chicago recently had one deal where they had 11 murders in one weekend. They said, 'Well, yeah, but it was a holiday weekend.'

They actually told me that was the reason. Like it was OK because it was a holiday. It was Labor Day! These people are the worst."

[bailey @AustinBailey18]

Lamar Jackson to the bears

[Emad @EMostaque]

@elonmusk

[Autism Capital 🧩 @AutismCapital]

TIM DILLON: “Younger people are sitting there wondering ‘Does Brigitte have a cock?’ ‘Will I afford a house?’ ‘Is there a job for me?’ And there isn’t, they’re not, and she does.” LMAO 🤣

[bailey @AustinBailey18]

You’re crazy don’t look at me

[big content guy @bigcontentguy]

there’s some kid who’s gonna see some absolute tug boats at the lake today and it is going to alter the trajectory of his life and that’s just beautiful to me