𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦

the world is funny, Twitter was funnier, still haven’t updated my app #gopackgo

[Rob Milton @therobmilton]

- and I’m gonna keep saying it.

[General Will🇦🇷🇺🇸 @GamecockWill69]

TSA Agent: “You are hiding ranch in your carry-on aren’t you?”

[tino @mirthincarnate]

my hat when i get a smooch on the cheek from a dame

[Khem Birch Society @NBABabySecret]

Tonight, we let the Greg Oden weed Everclear talk

[largest rodent @capybaroness]

this guy was hand-designed by god to toss James Bond across a room into some cabinets

[kitty pavlova @kitty_pavlova]

will never forget the late night uber driver telling me they died so fast they don’t get to go to heaven; they just became nothing. really wish i knew more of his theories.

[Derek Heckman @herekdeckman]

“And it appears that…yes…he and his friends are…killing the alien with hammers”

[Shane 🦧 @TheMonkeyJungle]

Him getting smaller and smaller as he walks up to the truck is some real Peter Jackson The Lord of the Rings forced perspective movie magic

[mr_eggs 🇵🇸 @scrumble_eggs]

The Cylinder Must Remain Unharmed (2028)

[𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 @austinisfresh]

Had a friend refuse to watch True Detective s1 w/ her bf after I told her about Daddario’s nudity :/

[i just want better for all of us @unsettlingvibes]

there’s something weird going on in the minds of gen z women. i saw a tiktok where this girl she couldn’t enjoy obsession bc she was worried her bf would find the lead actress attractive and all the comments agreed. why does that bother you so much? you can’t control that.

[i just want better for all of us @unsettlingvibes]

there’s something weird going on in the minds of gen z women. i saw a tiktok where this girl she couldn’t enjoy obsession bc she was worried her bf would find the lead actress attractive and all the comments agreed. why does that bother you so much? you can’t control that.

[Ava @noampomsky]

this is the number one thing I’ve learned from matchmaking!!! the healthiest people are just like “I want someone cute and smart whom I can communicate well with”

[Trill Burr @ReloadedJu]

Bruh I never noticed this but he kinda look like George Bush

[evil-lyn 💗 @ghoulhag]

This has genuinely saved me from workplace humiliation

[𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 @austinisfresh]

New boot boofin

[Matthew S. @MatthewMKE98]

Take a guess who missed the ball at first base

Just take a guess

You can’t make this stuff up man, the jokes write themselves