Sam Montgomery

Anarchist 🏴
Atheist ⚛️
Absurdist 🪿

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@CCondurache @MalwareJake The answer to your question depends on whether you're being stupid intentionally or if it's just your default mode

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@kroger terrible interaction with customer service while trying to get an item replaced for damages during faulty manufacturing. The "ambassador" was sarcastic and dismissive during the whole chat, and failed to offer any solution to my problem. I didn't even want a refund.

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@CameronJen2366 @GrinchBetss @nosyone4 Pics of you on a basketball team that wasn't intramural or STFU

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@fox_milder @MDoorpsy @137Force Yup, they eventually discover Dawn is "The Key", who was turned into a human sister by monks and sent to Buffy so she would feel obligated to protect it from Glory (S5 final boss) who wants to use The Key to return to her world, but would destroy ours in the process.

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@CameronJen2366 @GrinchBetss @nosyone4 That's a lot of words to say "I didn't even make the JV team"

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@Bug_Hall For a second there I thought the third photo was a screenshot from "The Witch".

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@fatfatpankocat "The Panko and the Pea" storyline is writing itself at this point

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@pants "manifesting"

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@alexamazov Shout out to my childhood neighbor, Tami. I watched the Hercules TV series every day at your house before school. You are loved.

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@PoupeAyisyen @sam_niac You can have mine!

"I can turn my belly-button inside-out."

It's work-appropriate to say, but no one will be able to ask you to demonstrate unless they want a meeting with HR.

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@Eli_and_mybros @PoupeAyisyen @sam_niac That's a great one

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@PoupeAyisyen @sam_niac I keep one "fun/interesting" fact about myself in my back pocket for moments like these, but I made sure it's also something weird.

Because if I'm gonna be uncomfortable, we're *ALL* gonna be uncomfortable

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@nogunjou @bloodmajicks lmao if I were a diligent person I would not need the additional laundry bin

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@sonohoor Sometimes, when I accidentally do make eye contact, I pull a neck-chop move like this so they know I ain't it.

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@preset_2m3 Ok Louis Litt

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@skooookum I have seen your follow-up and I stand firm on my initial response.

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@skooookum Interesting.

Have you considered that I would rather die.

[Sam Montgomery @averyawkward]

@ecto_fun Apparently you haven't seen The Wild Robot bc 😭😭😭