Katie

I'm the avocado of people. While you wait and wait for me to mature enough to be enjoyable, I sneakily transition into a disgusting mess.

[Katie @avokatie]

My favorite thing about having contact lenses that are replaced daily is sticking them on the wall behind my bed frame at the end of each day and watching the brittle, shimmering silicone hydrogel dots accumulate

[Meme Appetit @memeappetit]

My plans 2020

[Katie @avokatie]

Lowe’s > Home Depot

Shame on you if that’s not your opinion of the matter and SHAME on you if you don’t have an opinion on the matter.

[RANDOM DANCING @galleriagoth]

can a major streaming service own the rights to courage the cowardly dog already

[claire saffitz hair appreciation @hairsaffitz]

she was a cultural reset

[Katie @avokatie]

My power move is walking into someone’s home, assuming there is an Amazon Alexa on the premises, telling her to drop a sick beat, then proceeding to 2-step through the entry way.

[Katie @avokatie]

My mom had the audacity to suggest I get rid of my 47 back issues of @bonappetit mag instead of hauling them 700+ miles to Georgia, looks like she won’t be receiving any refill packs on that @getquip toothbrush she got for Mother’s Day 🥶

[RANDOM DANCING @galleriagoth]

that video of Alex Delaney...u know the one...

[Katie @avokatie]

The dream of owning a Toyota Prius becomes a nightmare the day you try to fit everything you own (dog included) inside of it

[Katie @avokatie]

Subject: Streaming Recommendations
From: me To: you

• The Phineas and Ferb Star Wars Special
• Walk the Line (Johnny Cash biopic)
• Rango
• All 13 seasons of King of the Hill
• @bonappetit YouTube content
• The Grateful Dead @ Fillmore East 2/14/70

[Katie @avokatie]

Publishers cracking down on copyright laws when teachers are out here trying to send videos of themselves reading picture books to their students via secure platforms is PEAK CAPITALISM

[Katie @avokatie]

I can’t even put into words how much attitude ten year old me would have thrown back had my parents handed me a colored coded daily schedule with blocks labeled “quiet time” and “chore chart” during a global pandemic

[Katie @avokatie]

Is adulthood being so busy that you can’t swing a visit with your primary care doctor to treat an ear infection and opting to use an expired antibiotic ear drop that was prescribed to your dog instead?

[Katie @avokatie]

I’m living proof that if you spend enough time around children under the age of twelve you’ll learn how to floss through osmosis

[Katie @avokatie]

4 year old me Current day me

🤝

Color coordinating my clogs to every outfit

[Katie @avokatie]

I would get a ticket for reading a book at a stop light

[Avery Springer @av_springading]

Hey can I clean my glasses on your shirt? Mine is tucked in

[Katie @avokatie]

@peoplewhopourbottledwaterintoreusablebottles

[nav ☻ @gourmetmakes]

Pastey Chef Succeeds In Making Me Fall In Love With Her

[Katie @avokatie]

Live Pearl Jam instrumentals are ten times more effective than the leading over the counter quick dissolve melatonin tablet

[Katie @avokatie]

I don’t feel safe unless my socks go above the ankle