austin

no yeah for sure

[austin @awstencarpenter]

i’m of the opinion that politicians, government entities, and public figures but especially THE WHITE HOUSE should hold themselves to higher standards on social media. what the fuck are you doing posting memes and saying whatever it is you want? this place sucks dude

[austin @awstencarpenter]

Something about this setup seems familiar… White guy pleading with upset people to change his one-sided, white privileged mind… Surely he’s safe from others behind his freedom of speech, right?

[Steven Crowder @scrowder]

I told them we should end all SNAP benefits.

You can imagine how that went.

Part 2 of Change My Mind drops today, 11 AM ET.

[austin @awstencarpenter]

it has to be Kevin James

[Rain Drops Media @Raindropsmedia1]

An art teacher named Matt Taylor is going viral on social media. 👀🎨

[Cohen is a ghost @skullmandible]

most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns

[We told you So @terri4436166795]

You’re a lot closer to needing SNAP benefits than you are to becoming a billionaire
Remember that
#snap

[Katie Dippold @katiedippold]

Tbt to Halloween when I dressed as the babadook but my friend's house had more of a grown ups drinking wine vibe

[austin @awstencarpenter]

dude im fucking married

[FK @kfortzx]

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet

[austin @awstencarpenter]

feels like a great day to cook up parlays in hopes of quitting my job

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Cut my hand on a cheese grater last night which is insane because I'm not cheese

[austin @awstencarpenter]

i hope the rapture doesn’t happen because i fear that my fiance would be taken and i wouldn’t :-(

[Kelly @kellycucca]

there needs to be a slur for people who drive Jeeps with the little rubber ducks sitting on the dashboards

[austin @awstencarpenter]

dude can you believe mike was hard making lemonade

[Sandy Plashkes @SandyPlashkes]

If I bet on the sun to come up tomorrow we’d have 24 hours of darkness

[Melech. @MelechThomas]

People with anxiety disorders reading this:

[austin @awstencarpenter]

how strange life is… five years ago, i hadn’t even met the woman i’m about to marry. now we’re in our new home, making pizza together at 11pm on a Monday

[austin @awstencarpenter]

hot honey does not belong on every damn thing

[austin @awstencarpenter]

something about a grown man obsessing over chocolate milk makes me very uncomfortable