Kelvin

living life, one dumpster fire at a time.

[Kelvin @azarc3]

@worddaodun That’s cool, but it makes no logistical sense. Any species/alien THAT advanced wouldn’t need all that to make ANY decision about ANYTHING. #ijs

[Kelvin @azarc3]

As your theme song while you’re working in public; that stuff will have you looking CRAZY to the regular customers.

#ijs

[Kelvin @azarc3]

So… don’t EVER have “Get Back” as your soundtrack

[Kelvin @azarc3]

FREAKING SUBSCRIPTIONS

[Kelvin @azarc3]

@Shruti_0810 agent

[Kelvin @azarc3]

For those wondering where this came from: https://t.co/AJye3sYy2l

[Kelvin @azarc3]

Dear @Apple, I see you're about to start showing ads in Maps. I respect the hustle, but you ABSOLUTELY need to allow completely opting out of them. I don't even like Google Maps... but if you force me to look at ads in a bundled app, I will ABSOLUTELY jump ship.

Just my $0.03.

[Kelvin @azarc3]

Mr. Norris, thank you for the being a hero of my youth.

Rest In Power.

#RIP #ChuckNorris

[Kelvin @azarc3]

... And this is exactly why my paranoid a$$ doesn't jump on every gadget bandwagon. // https://t.co/EWVFNLvyCI

[BlackBird444🇺🇸 @BlkBird444]

Damn you can’t even trust hospital staff when it comes to caring for Black Women. I hope she sues the hospital.

[Kelvin @azarc3]

It’s amazing how my “f*cks to give” quotient has an inverse relationship with how much I’ve imbibed to that point. #TrueScience

[Kelvin @azarc3]

Don’t believe me? Go give “4 Seasons of Loneliness” a listen.. and then include their “Throwbacks” (2004) album. Of course those are covers… but dammit, I swear they sound better than those classic originals without impugning of the originals! #CompletelyAghast

[Kelvin @azarc3]

Just had a moment where I need to “go back”… and I think @shawnstockman might be my favorite singer of ALL TIME. #BoyzIIMen

[Kelvin @azarc3]

@Microsoft, you REALLY gotta chill with all these OS-level ads. I've been using these products in the ads for quite some time.

Also:
- No, I'm not helping you with my search habits.
- No, I don't want to check out CoPilot in the browser.
- I've alreedy installed OneNote Mobile.

[Kelvin @azarc3]

Commander Zavala.

You will always be the his voice, that of so many others, and “the only one” who perfectly fit so many unforgettable roles.

Rest In Power, @lancereddick .

[Kelvin @azarc3]

But got this instead @Publix. I know math is a challenge, but even I can see that 7 is not 8. ???

[Kelvin @azarc3]

Bought this pack today, expecting the best…

[Kelvin @azarc3]

Today’s PSA: I think the most transformative and empowering thing I heard during my adult formative years was — and I quote — “You will be removed.”

That taught me that yes, my sh*t DID stink, and that I was certainly replaceable. So, get your sh*t together, and roll. @JonDBrown

[Kelvin @azarc3]

Recently overheard: “I’m just venting my inner b*tch!”

🤣

[Kelvin @azarc3]

Even if it were for 10 such trips a month, that's no more than 30 monthly minutes to feed the service what it needs for me.

Or, even better, let me forward such messages to an UberTravel address where you parse that message for what you need.

Wishing you the best with this!

[Kelvin @azarc3]

@Uber -- let me start by saying that I applaud the idea of UberTravel. However, privacy concerns are real. There's no way I'm granting you OR @AwardWallet blanket access to my email account so that my messages can be parsed to find "only travel-related messages".

[Kelvin @azarc3]

I'd much rather manually enter the provider and confirmation code pair for each part of my journey. We're talking all of 3 minutes of work -- likely, not even that long -- on an infrequent basis.