local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇

i’d say i’m here for a good time, but we all know that’s a lie

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

i’ll be damned before i ever pay to post about how fucking depressed i am on this shitty bird app

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

i think an important part of being a bisexual woman is feeling extremely guilty for finding a man attractive, and also not feeling qualified enough to pursue other women

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

@scenequeenrocks missing you from utah :((

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

you know, i think it’s pretty fucking comical that sigmund freud’s birthday is so close to mothers’ day

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

nothing could’ve prepared me for the musical whiplash that was Moves Like Jagger going IMMEDIATELY into Landslide while i was taking a shit in my work bathroom

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

why the fuck did it take until April for Utah to go, “oh shit, I forgot about Winter!”

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

@Tockets1_ omg, when was this 🤣

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

welp. never thought i’d make it this far.

but i did

i’m still here

24

[smokey mcbongwater @themaggieshow_]

Pls bewst for a moot on private

I very much still need support. I need help with firewood, sanitary pads and transportation to physical therapy appointments.
$r9994k
V: Elixirspice
Pp: aafira
Feel free to copy + paste

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

my favorite thing at work is asking a question in Teams that i need answered so i can do my job, and all of my coworkers ignore me😃

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

my pseudo-brother gets married in 4 days. back when he got engaged, he made me his best woman.

i have not written the fucking speech yet and oh my god i am stressed

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

pic from when i was cute and gay at my cousins farewell last weekend 💙✨🩵#NewProfilePic

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

the first thing the man i’m training to inventory textiles at my job did when he got in today was pop a mouthful of sunflower seeds. and now he’s smacking his lips and talking with his mouth full and it is too early for this shit

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

just my boss casually playing mario kart on his switch at his desk

[bbno$ 👶🚫💰 @bbnomula]

🚨TOUR GIVEAWAY🚨

5 WINNERS GET:
- 5 TICKET
- 5 VINYL
- BAG OF MERCH

all you have to do is RT and comment

winners chosen in a week 📆 ily 🩵

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

@bbnomula @imabeesknee i will give you a jar of paper stars mr. lack of currency, please

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

@NationOfMarina shampain being so low is criminal

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

just learned that my boss almost died because of chatgpt.

like, i’m glad he’s not dead, but i also think that’s funny as fuck

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

i think the signs that say:

“speed enforced by aircraft”

are insane btw

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

everytime i have to go to california for work, the entire drive to and from, my mind is plagued with:

“is this the time my 2009 chevy express gives up the ghost and i get stranded in the mojave desert?”

[local cryptid 🐦‍⬛🦇 @b00k_b0i]

so, just saw a headline that the Plaza hotel here in SLC is gonna get torn down to make a parking lot for the temple…

hey um, what the fuck?