bananaman

[bananaman @b_alamode606]

@Sysco one of your semi truck drivers in Tucson, AZ just blew threw a stop sign near my kids’ school. If I hadn’t slammed on my brakes in time he would have killed me and my two kids.

[gracie @qrracie]

Received this at my grandmas funeral. What an icon.

[mary @dressedinblac_]

Nathan fielder is for girls who love feeling anxiety but don’t want to get into true crime

[Sarah Silverman @SarahKSilverman]

Kanye threatened the Jews yesterday on twitter and it’s not even trending. Why do mostly only Jews speak up against Jewish hate? The silence is so loud

[des’ @_DestineeKM]

this might be my new favorite Halloween video LMAOO. One of the kids at boo @ the zoo was michael 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

It’s embarrassing to be really bad at carving a pumpkin but it’s also embarrassing to be too good at it. It’s one situation where mediocrity is the best option

[Rhiannon @AywaRhiannon]

Got pulled by over by a cop with braces

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

I can only save the Queen for so long.

[trash jones @jzux]

so embarrassing that jesus loves me. i barely think about him at all

[Spank Horton @SpankHorton]

Rip bro @TeamTeddyRay 🙏🏿

[JT @ThatDamnJosh_]

Teddy Ray was really hilarious

[Pam Keith, Esq. @PamKeithFL]

It is simply not possible to express in words the amount of damage Donald Trump has done to this country.

And all of it could have been prevented if white men in positions of power stood up to him, instead of cowering at his feet.

ALL. OF. IT.

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

Murmuring "Ok slay" as someone shows me how to use a can opener

[Andrew Yang🧢⬆️🇺🇸 @AndrewYang]

It feels like Democrats owe their people an apology for being bad at their jobs - they had a long time to codify Roe v. Wade, defend a balanced court, get RBG to step down, etc. Instead they got played and trounced. “Help undo our failures!” is not a compelling rallying cry.

[GIFFORDS @GIFFORDS_org]

REMINDER: As Wayne LaPierre suggests bringing more guns inside schools, there are currently NO guns allowed at the NRA Convention.

For safety reasons.

[Daniel Van Kirk @danielvankirk]

America, where you only ever need half a flagpole.

[Burgess Everett @burgessev]

“Spare me the bullshit of mental illness,” says Sen. Murphy of the United States. “We’re not an outlier on mental illness, we’re an outlier on firearms”

[Rachel Bitecofer 🗽🦆 @RachelBitecofer]

If America wants fundamental rights for women, it's gonna have to do something it's never done before: vote in the midterms.

[Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy]

That’s too much money for twitter. It’s just words. U can’t even eat it