Brittany Sharkey

You’re gonna need a bigger boat. Opinions are my own.

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

@Kheiden11 😂😂😂

[#TXLege Bills Bot @TXLegeBills]

SR 344: Commemorating the 30th anniversary of the Young Women's Alliance. https://t.co/jTcxkRmd8G #txlege

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

Come see me at SXSW!! I’ll be facilitating a session on the next generation of women leaders! https://t.co/hJFQDPaygz

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

My Uber rating has slipped to 4.96 and it’s giving me an existential crisis.

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

Okay but low key, Angela Bassett has a portrait of herself locked away somewhere that’s aging right?

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

@SouthwestAir I’m trying to get to Portland tomorrow or Wednesday, but you cancelled my flight and are trying to rebook me on Monday, my scheduled return date. Help please!!

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

White Lotus is my nightmare. Who are all these people making friends with strangers on vacation?

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

I’m sorry for what I said while my ponytail was too tight.

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

@UzoAduba @TheTonyAwards Surreal but well deserved! Next step to EGOT!

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

@luxurytrash_ Company, Sweeney Todd and Sunday in the Park with George. Aquarius sun, Aquarius moon and Leo rising.

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

@mpellittieri I give you a close up of the nose and snaggle tooth of Finn and we are very sorry for your loss.

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

@JesseThorn Jack’s PAC being named “The Committee to Re-Invade Vietnam” will never not be hilarious.

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

@mckeds His nipples deserve an honorable mention at least!

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

@mckeds Buying books and reading them are two entirely different hobbies.

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

@kelljokrause I hate it here.

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

But why does the family in Home Alone have so many mannequins just lying around?

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

@eshark73

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

@caracgustafson

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

Update: the guy definitely confused koalas and pandas.

[Brittany Sharkey @b_sharkey]

A guy on Hinge just mansplained to me that Koalas were native to Asia not Australia and I just wish I had that same misplaced confidence.