elf™

Born, then did stuff. Smol woodland creature. Stealer of your keys, socks, & many foods. Hater of coconut. I ❤️ Moosens.

[elf™ @baconelf]

How to be a beautiful moose:

- be a moose
- dont take anyones crap
- if anyone gets near you, gore them repeatedly with your antlers
- stomp on them too
- make friends with flying squirrel

[elf™ @baconelf]

@_Sprinkles_77 so, Roman Candle fight? aw yea

[elf™ @baconelf]

@Phil_Lewis_ I read up a little on what it takes to earn this particular assignment and its super, super involved and its not an easy job to get. Folks work their asses off to earn this.

Hegseth and his cronies are disgusting for being so disrespectful.

[elf™ @baconelf]

@nerdylilpeach its never Steven Multiverse

*runs off sobbing*

[elf™ @baconelf]

@Morgan_moore95 I have...me and two burritos...aw yissss

[elf™ @baconelf]

@davidhudnall Pictured: Family Cuckster

[elf™ @baconelf]

So apparently Kroger is the place for all your Little Debbie/Asscake needs:

[elf™ @baconelf]

@JenniferPost the war criminal and then the pedo/traitor?

wow, what a sad fucked up life you've got

[elf™ @baconelf]

@HarmonyUsInc was it the tea? its always the tea, or falling down an elevator shaft onto some bullets

[elf™ @baconelf]

@_Sprinkles_77 two dads walk into a bar...

[elf™ @baconelf]

@Cactuscali19912 its always Knuckle sammiches, never Cuckle sammiches...*sulks*

[elf™ @baconelf]

@_peachless id reply, but i are nappin'

ZZzzzZzzzzZzzzzzzz

[elf™ @baconelf]

@JoyceWhiteVance kari hide smith wont concede until some time next June

[elf™ @baconelf]

@hockeykatex0 well, not for long. them virus' and stuff just waitin for them..

[elf™ @baconelf]

@AbiRatchford its 11/11 so make a wish folks...manifest something good

[elf™ @baconelf]

@cartmansfinsta thats not unreasonable, id probably feel exactly the same considering the situation.

i like a good chicken tender, no bones in them and if they are decent sized, so much meaty goodness..

[elf™ @baconelf]

@__juststfu will you fit in a 1 gallon jar now? becuz pickles.

[elf™ @baconelf]

@SassyJailbait he ith. and he allll mineeee.

ok i share a little bit of hims w/ you. a smidge.

[elf™ @baconelf]

@elleloveCHI thin is ok, its like a pizza flavored appetizer

[elf™ @baconelf]

@realScottWargin @DemocracyDocket not correct: they are set back to 1850