Dingbop Wolfblood

Dangerous thoughts of a madman hurled into the digital abyss.

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

@SwedishFish missing out on a marketing opportunity to create a low-sugar version of your product called "Sweet-ish Fish"

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

When I'm an old man I'm going to routinely fake heart attacks in haunted houses to reverse the prank on those young fucks.

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

I think I just got a butthole cramp. Bruh getting old is trash.

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

My beef with mosquitos isn't that they suck our blood, but the fact that these lil MFs really have the audacity to make a second bite within an inch of the first.

Really? I gotta have two mosquito bites now cuz this little shit was being picky?

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

You know how earwigs are a thing? Now imagine asswigs.

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

Grover is the shittiest muppet. I always forget he even exists.

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

@__amandalynn Absolutely not what we signed up for. I also don't like having to boil water to cook frozen ravioli. #boycott

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

I'm so lazy with regard to cooking that I actually get annoyed when a microwaveable frozen meal requires I take it out, stir it, and heat it more.

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

Everyone's team #mentalhealthawareness until you tell them you're too tired to chill. 🙄 Fuck y'all, I'll take as many naps as I need.

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

@_InSusWeTrust *Relationship is on the rocks*
Her: I got my nipples pierced.

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

Do people actually find nipple piercings to be sexy? I'm not hating, I don't dislike them... I just don't feel they add any degree of sex appeal.

"Imma drive my manz crazy tn with this stab wound in mAh titties"

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

@babyfirefly19 Delete your nipple rings

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

"Don't kill spiders in your home, they eat other bugs."

Yeah but they lay 1000 eggs that can hatch into more spiders so unless that spider is gonna kill 1000 bugs I'll see him in hell.

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

If I were to open a therapy business it would be called TEllisCope

If I were to open an Italian restaurant it would be called Tylerelli's.

My son's name will be TySon.

I can do this all day.

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

How can anyone truly enjoy playing BINGO? It's basically just low-stakes gambling but over an excruciatingly long period of time.

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

I am a recovering sex addict. Not by choice, I'm just getting uglier.

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

You could masturbate at the barbershop and your barber would never know.

[Logan Hanson @LoganHanson]

White women are frantically loading up their Instagram story slide decks before the verdict like it’s a blackboard assignment

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

Do high school kids today even know about 3OH!3? smh

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

@__amandalynn They drink water every day so where does the peepee go?

[Dingbop Wolfblood @baewulfy]

No one else finds it suspicious that plants don't poop?