bailes 🌸

[mizzy⋆｡°✩ sunny 18 @teacupssandtime]

are you fucking kidding me ?

[໊ @wynrosei]

men happened

[Rupert Lowe MP @RupertLowe10]

I want the world to hear what we heard.

[T!🎀 @jesu__tofunmii]

"Close your books. We are going to the computer lab"

[brad ❤️‍🔥 @brrr_add]

Girl I don’t even know who you are and I’ve watched the entire series 10+ times

[archi @i3kristine]

“you and bree fucking?”
“yeaaaahhhh”
“what the fuck. you slimy fucking rat”
“stephen get a fucking therapist”
THIS IS CINEMA
#tellmelies

[B.W. Carlin @BaileyCarlin]

RIP, legend.

[culture jpeg @culturejpg]

Still one of the funniest videos on the internet

[໊ @wandasattorney]

AI could NEVER make this

[Monica Crowley @MonicaCrowley]

God is the ultimate artist

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate?
I’m glad you asked. Buckle up.

12:05 p.m. — It begins. You down the 10-ounce bottle like it’s a lukewarm PBR at a college tailgate. The label says “cherry flavored,” but it tastes like someone described cherry to a chemist who’s never eaten fruit. Regret sets in instantly.

12:06 p.m. — You grab a handful of chips for moral support. They’ll be liquified before they clear your throat, but who cares? Life still feels okay right now. Remember this peace. You’re about to enter the darkest chapter of your gastrointestinal history.

12:37 p.m. — The rumbling starts. There’s movement in the depths. You’ve got five pounds of impacted regret in your colon, and you just drank the “human-safe” version of Drano. You think it’s go time. It’s not. You get one sad little snake turd — a warm-up act.
That’s the last semi-solid you’ll see for the next 24 hours.

12:57 p.m. — The situation escalates. Your stomach is in full revolt. You have 0.3 seconds to make it to the toilet. Running is risky business — one wrong step and you’ll paint the walls. You pray for sphincter strength like never before as you waddle at Mach 3, pants half down, whispering, “Please, God, not like this.”

12:58 p.m. — Impact.
You sit, and the gates of hell open.
The explosion is biblical. It hits the back of the bowl with such violent force it ricochets like a sprinkler system.
You ask yourself, Is that blood?
No — false alarm. Just the ghost of a cherry pie you ate in 2004. The smell is unspeakable. The acoustics? Terrifying. The neighbors think you’re performing an exorcism.

1:06 p.m. – 8:30 p.m. — Time becomes meaningless. You’ve evacuated everything you’ve ever eaten, plus a few ancestral meals for good measure. Your colon feels like it’s been sandblasted with lava. The burn is real. You’re sweating. Crying. Contemplating life. You meet Jesus briefly, but He sends you back — says your mission’s not over yet.

8:37 p.m. — You’re empty. Broken. Reborn.
Your butthole? A war veteran.
Your spirit? In recovery.
You’ll never be the same, but you will survive.

Tomorrow, you’ll rise from the ashes, slip into your last clean pair of underwear, and waddle into Walmart like a survivor of gastrointestinal warfare — to buy a new toilet brush and reclaim your dignity.

You’ve earned it.

Feeling thankful. 💩🙏

[Kish 🇭🇹 @kishswim]

We’re not meant to live like this bro we are not

[VANTA @VANTACUTS]

he's just as important to halloween just as mariah carey is to christmas

[Маделейн . @normalmadeline]

You can’t be serious.

[Nicky Smokes @nickysmokess]

Oh and anyone celebrating a man being murdered in broad daylight in front of hundreds of college students is apart of the the problem. Seek help.

[C3 @C_3C_3]

Having kids…

I keep thinking of a tiny girl taking a bus ride home after working at a pizza shop not bothering anyone and having her throat slit.

I want to cry for her.

Then I think about how it happened and I want to rage.

I want everyone responsible ruined.

Everyone.

[jay ✰ @jayythewave]

i would’ve hollered like courage the cowardly dog

[💜🧚🏼 @moon_prncss]

you’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time

[ᴘᴏᴛᴀᴛᴜᴍ @pot8um]

Don’t be shy unblur that tag