I know some folks only see my tweets on game days. So now that the Bama game is over: who has two thumbs, is a Kansan, and has no signs of cancer? This guy.
Family member: Hey can you design some invitations for a thing I have?
Me: Sure.
Family member: Great! It starts in 45 minutes and the colors are purple, Scottish tartan, and the wind on a June day. Please make it elegant and I'll need six drafts.
This Karen just gasped "NO THANK YOU!" super loud and clutched her chest when seeing my dog.
I know he is big, but he is quietly walking on the other side of me from you and your tiny affront to God pug that's barking, lunging, and acting like the mistake that he is. Chill.