Peanut and the Gang

if youre looking for WACKY, ... youve come to the right place

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

Will the real Slim Shady please sit down and shut up

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

Q: Where did the native americans live?
A: Native America.

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

I threw a maxipad into a lake and it soaked up all the water and now the lake's dry and its damaging the ecosystem. Help!

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

Found a super secret medicine cabinet hidden in my house, and it had a bunch of cool/good drugs

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

Just exfoliated my ass, but I did too much, so now I don't have an ass anymore.

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

Come to Butthead

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

#HarryPotter
For a period of two weeks, Sirius Black was unable to brush his teeth. The end result was a great deal of some Serious Plaque.

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

Alec Baldwin used to be bald, but then he had a major Win in his life that gave him hair.

[Leonard Delaney @Leonard_Delaney]

People ask me if I’ve even had sex. To them I say: define “sex.” Define “had.” Then define “define.” You can’t! It’s circular. Boom.

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

For a good time call: The police.

[Todd 'Papi' Carlos @TheToddWilliams]

[job interview]
Me: Time travel
Boss: What is your biggest stren—WHAT?!

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

@milkohol @DinkMagic @abughat the tonsils weighed 12 pounds

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

@raruler You can increase the number infinitely, but they have to get smaller each time.

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

Would you rather have two small boobs..... or one large boob.

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

@dendycrew you have to thank them all and give each of them a tiny kiss on the cheek

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

Do you know what hell is like? Hell is hundreds of people quoting your not-so-good posts and sarcastically saying "lol", forever.

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

new dendy!!!!!!!!!! http://t.co/vNALTkqLSb

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

CL - Missed connections - Power cord barely too short to reach outlet.

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

Diff of my buttcheeks: [blank file]. My ass is completely symmetrical.

[Peanut and the Gang @barbarianbort]

I prefer Harvard comma to Oxford comma.